


I am Logan Sanders

by ElSandersWrites



Series: The 'I am' Amnesia Series [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 22,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElSandersWrites/pseuds/ElSandersWrites
Summary: Logan wakes confused. He has no memory - of anything. He wouldn't have even known his name if it wasn't painted over the dark oak door in galaxy paint. He doesn't know anyone around him but somehow he knows he must not worry them.How hard would it be to pretend everything's fine and learn how to be someone he's not?(Be ready for a bit of Analogical)Can also do sequels for the other Sides losing their memory if you'd like!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone, Thomas Sanders/Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: The 'I am' Amnesia Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866214
Comments: 14
Kudos: 117





	1. 10am Tuesday

Eyes opened slowly. There is no familiarity. Is this still a dream?

I move my head side to side slowly and silently as if I was being preyed upon. The walls were dark blue - midnight blue maybe - but hidden by shelves filled with dozens of books. The ceiling was painted black and covered by glow in the dark star stickers that seemed broken in their dull state as the light filtered through the sheer dark blue curtains defeating their purpose.

"WHERE THE F^^^ ARE MY HEADPHONES!" A raspy, angry voice screamed like a hissing cat. I brought the bed covers over my head at this sudden noise, expecting the maker of the voice to erupt into the room I was in and begin a fight. After a few seconds of silence, I uncovered my head again and listened. "ANSWER ME ROMAN!"

"I didn't do anything!" Another voice shouted from another place outside the room. At this I gently stood and approached the only door closed in the room - the door to the bathroom was open. I didn't open the door yet, only stood in front of it and listened.

"Don't shout you two... Settle it quietly." I gentle chirpy voice whispered, I can only assume from the room next to me. The voice still sounded a little strained and sleepy - they must have only just woken too. Footsteps were heard quietly tapping before the first voice screamed again.

"LOGAN! HAVE YOU SEEN MY HEADPHONES?" I stepped back slightly at the sudden noise again. Again there was silence after this; the silence was longer. "Logan?" The voice said quieter, slightly confused in his tone. The same footsteps stepped closer and a knock came from the door I stood in front of. "Where's Logan Paps?"

"Hello?" I murmured to the person outside my door. The door opened after my voice vibrated through the wood to show the person that scared me awake.

"Logan? You're usually up and showered at 7am - you OK dude?" The person stepped closer as I stepped back. He was small - to begin to describe him - both in height and muscle and wore a plain black t-shirt and grey pyjama pants. He kept on stepping forward while I kept stepping back like a scared animal. "Sh^t - Patton! Roman! Something's wrong with Logan!"

"No! I'm fine! Uh..." My voice instinctively vocalised to try to derail the situation. "I just... slept in?" That didn't help, the person only raised an eyebrow and looked behind him to where two new people poked their head around the room's door. The taller new person, wearing red Gryffindor pyjamas, laughed once he heard my excuse.

"You never sleep in Lo - you wake us up at 8." He said, stepping forward to be alongside the black and grey pyjama wearer. "Come on Virgil." He turned to the black and grey pyjama wearer with a smirk while the other still held a concerned look at me. "Let's take advantage of the extra sleep."

"You can tell us if you don't feel well Logie. We're here for you..." The third, the one that spoke gently with a tired voice, also stepped forward and came closer to hug me before I could have any reaction. The Gryffindor wearer stopped walking away and looked back at me as I was hugged.

"I - I had a fever so I slept longer than normal. But I'm fine now." My voice again said as the hug stopped. "We need to get the day started." I stepped back and walked towards a chest of drawers looking at them with determination as if I had a plan for the day. The hugger smiled as I did this, looking back at the other two while the Gryffindor smirked wider and did a small dramatised scowl.

"Great - he's back. I'm gonna get some coffee and watch Netflix in bed until someone needs me." And with that, the Gryffindor left. The hugger left too, heading towards the staircase opposite my room with the verbalised goal of making breakfast.

I opened the dresser at this, assuming the last person would follow suit and leave the room. He stood with a small smile on his face watching me cautiously as I decided which drawer to open first and hoping he'd leave so I could decide a game plan for how to avoid all suspicions.

"Promise me you're alright Sherlock. I'm getting anxious." The person laughed slightly, still keeping his eyes on me. I nodded silently, opening the drawers to find only ties. All blue ties, mostly of a striped design or plain. The person sighed and turned to leave.

"Virgil?" I said quietly, looking up from the ties at the black and grey wearer. He turned and walked closer with a smirk. "I don't... want to wear a tie... Do you have anything I could wear?"

Virgil raised an eyebrow, an unsure and scared look in his eyes that was prominent when he first found me. I was about to back peddle, but he responded slowly. "I have hoodies - you want to borrow a hoodie today?"

I nodded and spoke quickly. "I mean - only because of the fever - I want to relax a little bit."

"You don't have to explain yourself Lo. I'll get it for you." And finally, he turned and left, walking to the room next door covered in alternative band posters. I closed the drawers and stood, looking around the room and examining all the books that surrounded me.

A part of me wanted to wake up again and be placed in some familiarity, to calm my nerves. But this was my reality, and I couldn't wake up. I had to face this.


	2. 11:30am Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's first breakfast.

I made my way downstairs slowly. I wasn't sure whether Virgil had told Gryffindor and the hugger about the hoodie situation. The smell of pancakes made my mouth water as I walked down the stairs, tugging the grey hoodie over my shoulders and walking into the kitchen.

The hugger was decorating freshly flipped pancakes with sugar, strawberries and blueberries. I looked around the kitchen swiftly, taking a breath in - it was only the hugger and I. And I had no idea who he was. "You feeling any better Lo-Lo?" The hugger chirped, his voice sounding more awake and alert this time. I nodded and went to the sink to get a drink of water, trying to think about how to respond if he demanded so.

Suddenly another person came in. Not Virgil, but Gryffindor. He walked in just as the hugger finished decorating the pancakes and grabbed one. "Thanks Padre - you don't want one Calculator Watch?" Gryffindor looked at me, his cheeks expanding like a hamster as he looked at me. I finished the glass and nodded.

"Thanks... Dad..." I said slowly, assuming that was his name or his name was something related to fatherhood as that's all he seemed to be called. There was silence as I grabbed the pancake however, and both of them looked at me confused as Virgil finally walked in.

"You called Patton... Dad?" Gryffindor tried holding his laugh but failed once Virgil walked in and looked between all of us trying to find an explanation for the confused faces. "Something must be wrong with you Teach! What the f^^^?" Gryffindor glanced at Virgil who held the anxious look he had given me so many times this morning.

"Oh my goodness!" Patton giggled like a child and hugged me again, his head lying on my chest as I brought my hands around his shoulders cautiously. "Ignore Roman's taunts. You can call me Dad if you want to!" Virgil stepped forward sternly, grabbing a pancake with one hand and tugging my hoodie with the other.

"We'll be in the living room." Virgil said sharply, glancing angrily at Gryffindor (or Roman) and then switching emotions completely to smile calmly at the hugger (ie Patton). He tugged me to the other room quickly, putting my back against the wall and glaring at me with anxious stern hazel eyes.

"What's... up Virgil?" I murmured, only showing my fear in my voice. I saw his eyes well up slightly as he placed his hands on the wall to stop any attempt I could make at an escape.

"You're delirious. Go to bed."

"Me? Delirious? No..." I laughed nervously, looking away, but Virgil quickly dragged my head back to where it was by cupping my cheek.

"You are. I'll take the hoodie and you get back into your pyjamas and sleep until you're better." He stepped back and tugged the hoodie off my shoulders as I grabbed it for dear life. "Stop acting like a scared animal all the time Lo. You're scaring me."

"Can't you just leave me alone? Don't rough handle me!"

At this Virgil paused and sighed seeing me huddled in the corner. He let go of me completely, wrapping his forearms behind his back and looking down. He bit his lip in thought, letting the hoodie drop to the floor as he heard Roman and Patton also make their way to the living room. I tried to stand straight and give Virgil the same determined and somehow aggressive look he gave me. "Movie night tonight?" Virgil said slowly after a sigh. "At 8pm?" I maintained eye contact and nodded, not before letting a confused expression escape me. "I know I usually skip it - just - I'll be in your room at 8."

"WHO'S READY FOR A DISNEY+ MARATHON F^^^ERS?" Roman stormed in the room and picked up the TV remote, Patton walking behind finishing the last of his pancake. Virgil smiled and sat on top of the sofa, his feet landing on the seat. Patton also sat on a 50s style large chair. I decided to sit too as Roman decided the Disney show, next to Virgil but sitting like a normal person. Roman laughed as he sat on the edge of the sofa. "Joining us Specs? You usually have your head in some psycho-sh^t book by now."

"What are we watching?" I kept my eyes on the TV - Roman must insult me often. Patton gave me a small smile from the corner of my eye which I returned, leaning further forward. Virgil dropped the hoodie on my lap silently as Roman turned on Tangled.

I wrapped the hoodie around me for some security, hunching my back and hugging my leg. My eyes were fixed on the light blond long-haired protagonist that I recognised from the 2010 trailers rather than the real humans around me I didn't know at all. "Interesting new style Nerd." Roman said, glancing over slightly with a smirk. "Why no tie?"

"Maybe he wanted to be more comfy - right kiddo?" Patton chirped, smiling at me. A condescending, 'get better soon' smile - treating everyone like a child even though we're all the same age. I ignored the conversation around me until Roman did an overexaggerated, dramatic gasp falling off the sofa causing all of us to look over confused.

"I can make you a new stylish hoodie! That old thing of JD's is too small for you - makes you look fatter. I can make you a custom hoodie!" Roman stood with excitement and clapped, looking between Patton, Virgil, me and the stairs upstairs. "You have no choice not to now! We're doing it!"

Roman ran upstairs excitedly, letting Tangled play as we all stared at the stairs in fascination. "Be grateful when he gives you the hoodie Logan, I know you don't really want it." Patton chirped, his eyes still on the movie as he brought a blanket around him and bit his thumbnail. I only shrugged in response, causing Virgil to smile.

"Finally showed someone the joys of hoodies. Surprised Lo's the first to figure that out though." Virgil looked down at me and kicked my waist playfully as I turned to face the stairs.

After a few minutes, Roman trotted down the stairs waving a dark hoodie around like a flag. "IT'S READY!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, chucking the hoodie on my lap as he stood on the sofa. I unravelled the hoodie slowly and admired it. It was simple, black fading into dark blue into light blue at the hem, hood and sleeves. Badges were also carefully placed across the chest - a rainbow badge, a psychology symbol, a brain with glasses that was also sewn on my shirt. "You like it?"

"I do. Thank you." I put Virgil's hoodie off and my new hoodie on, feeling the warmth hugging me instead of constricting me as Virgil's smaller hoodie did. I rolled up the sleeves, ruffled my hair back into order and let out a smile. "You did it well."

Roman scoffed with a smirk, sitting on the sofa next to me cross-legged. "That's more than the nod you usually give me. Thanks Specs."


	3. 8pm Tuesday

I enjoyed watching Tangled and Brave and Big Hero 6 and Snow White and Treasure Planet with Roman, Patton and Virgil. To say that Virgil stayed throughout all those films would be incorrect - he turned on his phone near the end of Brave, put his headphones on halfway through Big Hero 6 and left completely just before Snow White. No-one seemed to mind, and they kept on asking me whether I was staying for the next movie even though my response was always yes. They seemed happy to have me around, so there was no reason to leave.

During Treasure Planet I kept on glancing at the clock. Virgil seemed to really need our time alone at 8pm, even though he seemed to have had enough of movies from the household's marathon. "If you want to leave Lo-Lo you can..." Patton said softly as the clock reached 7:26. "You've stayed so much longer than you usually do."

"He has his date with Virgil at 8 Pat. That's why he's more of a nervous mess than usual." Roman said, checking his nails as he sat on a beanbag.

"Date?" I echoed slowly without vocalising, recalling every event of the day automatically. I was dating Virgil? We hadn't kissed, or even hugged, or called each other cheesy cliche nicknames. Was I meant to do that? Maybe that's why he acted angry at breakfast and left halfway through the marathon.

"You know they're just close friends Roman. Stop taunting." Patton finally said to break me from my worry. I glanced at Patton and then Roman. Roman checked his nails, his eyes also in another world that no-one had access to.

"Mhm..." Was Roman's only response. He crossed his arms and looked away from the TV for the first time in the last few hours to face away from Patton and me, looking at nothing in particular. Patton sighed and shared a sad look at him, before looking back at me.

"You should get ready for your movie night Lo-Lo..." Patton chirped sadly. I nodded and walked upstairs, realising the drift I had somehow caused.

I took a deep breath as I walked into my room. Virgil wasn't here yet. I circled my room for a moment, trying to figure out if there was any particular spot I would sit with Virgil for movie nights. It was all just bookshelves until I saw one shelf slightly more forward than the others. The bookshelves were full of psychology books, examining the Yerkes-Dodson graph or explaining ways to treat anxious behaviour. After a few attempts, I brought the shelf forward slightly to reveal another area to the room, not big enough for a bed but too big to act as a study room.

Instead, the room seemed covered in blankets and pillows; all a mix of dark blue, purple, white, black, and galaxy. Blankets were even held up by the ceiling, making the room even smaller as I crawled in. Pillows seemed to gather at two particular spots, facing one wall. One pillow pile seemed meticulously clean, the pillows were mostly dark blue like my room with a few small white pillows across the edges and a small pile of Gothic literature books to the left of it. The other gather of pillows was surrounded by empty Diet Coke bottles and Pringles cans rather than works of literature. The pillows at this spot were dark and light purple and a moderate amount of black. It felt comfortable sitting in the dark blue spot, leaning against the wall which was also a blanket. I relaxed, watching the open door to my room and waiting for my hooded friend to walk through.

"Move it nerdman. Get comfy." Virgil cheered, his hands filled with popcorn, chocolate, crisp packets and milkshakes. I smiled, sitting cross legged to let Virgil past and set all the food and drinks down. "You didn't get your laptop?" He said softly as I looked at him confused and stood. Before I could even turn though a galaxy dark blue laptop appeared in front of where Virgil and I sat. Virgil opened a packet of crisps like nothing happened as I look confused and sat down again.

We can do magic. Good to know.

"Want one?" Virgil offered some crisps to me with his mouth half full. I still took one. "I feel like watching some conspiracy theories - had enough of movies." He turned on YouTube and looked through, eventually landing on Shane Dawson's conspiracy theory videos. "A classic."

We watched the videos in almost silence, our chewing and the videos being the only noise. There was a video on imposter syndrome - a psychological condition where someone is constantly worried they'd be found as a fake or a fraud - sounds familiar. "Well you're really into that." Virgil laughed. "They say psychology and you're glued to the screen I tell you." Virgil leaned against the wall and caught malteasers in his mouth.

I got a sudden burst of courage. Well, maybe courage, maybe trust, maybe knowledge I would go insane if I kept it all in. "I need to tell you something." I said sharply in an exhale. Virgil paused jolted like a record, letting the malteser drop to the floor as if it were slow-motion. His face also paused for a second, going paler slightly and then pinker as his eyes widened. I took another breath and closed my eyes.

"Hit me." After a pause he spoke again. "Not literally - figuratively - hit me with what you want to say."

"I don't know who you are apart from your name. Same with Roman and Patton." Again it was silence as I sat straight with my eyes closed.

"R-really?" I nodded. The pause this time started a few minutes, all silence apart from the video. "You're safe Logan."

I opened my eyes and turned my head quickly. Virgil had changed positions from leaning against the wall facing me to facing the laptop and watching it, the light from it only shining on half his face just below the nose. It looked unearthly, unnatural and made me feel uneasy for some reason - the stubble on his chin pointing up. But he reassured me with his gently spoken words.

"I will help you remember Lo - if it's the last thing I do."


	4. 6:45am Wednesday

I could hear the door open and close while I was half asleep. I then felt a weight next to me like a cat and heard a sigh. "Wake up d^ckhead." Virgil's familiar voice ringed in my ear as I was rocked back and forth.

"Mmm... Why so early?" I rolled my face to lie on the pillow and Virgil chuckled a little and lay next to me.

"You usually get up this time. Thomas is joining for lunch."

I turned my head and then my body to face him. "Ready for your mind to explode?" Virgil said gently, his smirk revealing a white canine tooth. I nodded slowly. "We are all functions of Thomas' mind, so Thomas visits us sometimes. Roman is creativity and ego, Patton is morality and emotion, I'm anxiety and you-" he punched my shoulder as we sat up, "are logic and intelligence. Any questions?"

He stood and spun to face me. If Thomas was as dumb as I must seem if I didn't hide from Patton and Roman, he shouldn't realise I have no idea what I'm doing. That's positive. I paused with a confused expression before speaking slowly, one word at a time, as something was telling me this was going to be a bad question.

"What about the bad things?" As expected, Virgil looked down and his smile disappeared as he placed his hands around his chest. "Do we cover bad things too? Because sure - anxiety is bad... but not the worst part of the psyche."

"Remember my promise Lo? You're safe - don't ask and don't worry." His stern eyes made his face a grimace. The darkness of the room causing his iris to expand, the friendly and warm hazel eyes become black pools of darkness that seemed to have no depth or humanity. I could only nod, walking to the curtains and opening that in hope to restore the light conversation.

"Now - here is what you do..." Virgil eventually said is his slightly more jokey and cheery tone. "Get yourself dressed and ready with a tie, make breakfast, then wake us all up. Sound good?" I nodded again, retrieving my new hoodie from the nearby chair I placed it and putting it on my bed. "Don't say I woke you up - and set an alarm clock while you're at it because f^cking God knows I'm not getting up this early again." With that and a final nod, he turned and walked back into his room.

I did just as he said, minus the tie. I stared at myself in the mirror in my ensuite bathroom, taking a deep breath as I unfolded my shirt collar. I found the dark blue striped rope and placed it around my neck, taking a deep exhale. I pulled down one side, it travelling at the back of my neck like a dry flaky snake. I then crossed the two sides slowly, my Adam's apple pausing a gulp as I closed my eyes. It just didn't seem right though. It seemed too formal, too strict, too - scary. I threw the tie on the towel rack and brought the collar down again, undoing the top button to reveal the collarbone slightly, and added the black jeans and brown belt, just with the hoodie over the top.

Breakfast was pretty easy to make, I just laid out different cereals and called it a 'serve your own breakfast' buffet. Next was waking people up, first I went to Virgil's room and opened the door covered in alternative band posters. I couldn't see him at first, so slowly I stepped in. 

"GET OUT!" A frantic scream was heard. I ran out immediately, possibly expecting Virgil to emerge from the open bathroom door in a towel. But no, Virgil had hidden himself under blankets and was on his phone obviously wide awake - so immediately he spotted the hoodie and sighed. "You'll get changed when Thomas is here right?" I nodded, hoping I wouldn't choke myself once noon rolled around.

Patton was relatively easy to wake up. He gave me a cheerful hug before walking downstairs. I didn't even have to open the door. Roman, however, was more difficult.

I knocked on the door quietly. No response. "Roman?" I said quietly - still nothing. I opened the door after that and found Roman curled up in a golden bed, Pretty Little Liars playing on repeat on a nearby laptop and the faint sound of Disney music echoing across the room. "Roman?" I said again, shaking the sleeping man slightly and opening his golden curtains. Roman moved slightly and turned off the laptop to signal he was awake. He then turned his head to look at me.

"That hoodie? In front of Thomas?" He sniggered as he stood and stretched, his left arm making a triangle over his head while his right stretched forward then swiftly went back in a semicircle motion. "Don't you want to be serious?" He said in a laugh as if he was mocking something I previously said.

"I'll get changed once Thomas arrives. Just go downstairs." Roman raised an eyebrow at me but did as he was told. He sure was infuriating, his constant jokes and taunts.

"You know what Teach?" Roman chirped as we each got cereal, Virgil and Patton already sitting together on the dining table. "I like this new you! You're actually fun to be with now..." He paused looking at the cereal I was going to give myself. "TRIX? What happened to Raisin Bran? We out?" Roman left his cereal on the table and searched the shelves. "What? It's here!" Roman gasped. "YOU CHANGED YOUR CEREAL?"

I didn't know what to say. I looked around and then at the cereals that were almost empty. There was lots of variety of cereals, but the half empty ones seemed to be the ones my friends chose to eat that morning. Patton had Lucky Charms, Virgil had Oreo O's and Roman had Rice Crispies. Virgil stood after a minute of silence, getting a nearby chair to place next to him and guiding me towards the table.

"Stop being dramatic Roman. Let Logan change his style a bit." He said sternly before eating his cereal. Roman nodded, sitting next to Patton, and we all ate in silence apart from Patton's ever-present Dad jokes.


	5. 12pm Wednesday

"Thank you so much for helping Logie Bear!" Patton cheered as I placed the knives and forks down for homemade pizza - who does that? "Don't you miss your reading? You usually read as many pages in a day as I say Dad jokes!" I shrugged, spotting Virgil peering at me through the kitchen window.

"I guess I just - got bored..." I whispered, getting beside Patton with my back facing Virgil in the kitchen. "I mean - have I always had such a rocky relationship with Roman?"

Patton raised an eyebrow as he glanced over, hazel eyes glowing for a short second. I made sure to phrase the question as if I knew the answer, but the short moment of eye contact we shared seemed to strip my fakery down - as if he understood the true reason to that question. I automatically stepped back once Patton looked down to stir up an answer.

"You always - sort of - taunt each other. You both have separate ideas about what's best for Thomas, and that drifts you apart." He said simply, straightening the knives and forks I had placed. "It's good you want to tighten your bond! That will be so good for Thomas."

"What would be good for Thomas? Logan shutting up?" Roman laughed as he placed pizza in the centre of the table. Patton gave him an angry glance and then sighed, placing a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Don't mind him Logie Bear... Just keep doing what you're doing." His squeaky voice calmed a little as we met eyes again. He smiled a sweet and genuine smile, his hand still lay on my shoulder. I couldn't help watching his eyes, they silenced me with their movements. They left my eyes to look at my shoulder, then to Patton's spare hand then travelled from the base of my neck to the cheek back to the eyes. It was only simple - but it made me feel uneasy somehow like I was naked in front of car lights on a rainy winter night.

"Afternoon guys." A voice came from the door. I peaked my head across the corner to see who had just walked in. It was a completely new person, the mean height of all of us, with shaggy unbrushed hair. He had his back from me at first, hanging a hoodie up on the coat rack to reveal a lilac flowery shirt. "What's for lunch?"

"Pizza! Take a seat, Thomas." Without hesitation, the new person sat in the spare seat as did the others. The conversation seemed to start relatively quick too, about Thomas' YouTube videos and auditions near in time. I kind of forgot to exist for a moment, paying attention to the vibrations caused by the mouth movements around me rather than the actual words within them.

"You're awfully quiet Logan..." Thomas' voice mumbled across the table. I looked up and met eyes with him, processing that I hadn't touched my pizza for a good few minutes. "Are you alright?"

"He's fine." Virgil said for me quickly, not looking up from his pizza. "Absolutely fine."

Thomas looked at me concerned but shrugged. "What are you wearing Logan? Is that new?"

"I made it myself!" Roman cheered, standing in a majestic stance to reach over for the salt. "He likes it. Do you like it Thomas?"

"Yes, yes - it's good Roman." Thomas said quickly before returning to face me. "Logan? Are you OK?"

"Perfectly fine Thomas. You have no need to worry." I said calmly - and the situation derailed. Thomas took a deep breath, smirking at Patton.

"Well, I like the new style - perfect for the next video!" I could only nod to that, unsure what he was talking about, but it was a common conversation point. "It's also nice to see you relax a little..."

"But nothing else has changed - Right Sherlock?" Virgil murmured, bringing my hand against his under the table and squeezing my hand as if to tell me to say no more.

I heard a small laugh from Thomas. "Finally asked the question, Logan?"

"What-"  
"NO!"

Roman, Patton and Thomas burst out laughing. "Aww... Did Virgil ask then?" Thomas sniggered.

"No! I did not ask him any questions and he didn't ask me any questions - shut up!" Virgil stood and slammed the table, his face extremely red as everyone silenced and stared at him in surprise. "Do you want me to leave the table?"

"No... Sit kiddo... We were only teasing." Patton cooed like Virgil was a small child. Virgil sat again slowly and silently.

"Teach has been acting f^^^ing weird though." Roman said quickly, also avoiding eye contact with anyone apart from Thomas. "He woke up at like 10am yesterday - He's never done that!"

"I had a fever..."

"That's why I was feeling tired yesterday - I was going to ask about that!" The group could only laugh awkwardly - the sound of Virgil's cutlery hitting the plate (he ate pizza with a knife and fork like a madman).

"Let's go upstairs Logan - away from this." And with that Virgil stood and walked upstairs, his shadow turning like a vampire's cape making him look paler and paler by the second.


	6. 1:30pm Wednesday

I was persuaded to not follow Virgil up the stairs. "JD just needs to calm the f^^^ down." Roman said nonchalantly, picking off the cheese on his pizza and landing it in his mouth. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the staircase this morning."

"Well, maybe we taunted a little too much..." Thomas said, but he quickly reversed his train of thought. "Has anything happened between you and Virgil, Logan?"

I didn't exactly know what to say, so I shook my head. Thomas sighed, and we carried on eating. My eyes lingered on the steps, begging for Virgil to return so I had some safety or reassurance of what to do. Then again, this was a perfect time to find out more about the world I was in. When I was with Virgil I felt constricted to speak, not able to ask any questions unless it was previously approved. As we cleaned the plates I glanced over to Thomas, and he smiled at me.

"You know I won't tell the others if you and Virgil have a - thing..." He whispered, facing away from the others with a wide smile.

"We don't." I said quickly, standing straight as if I were a soldier and Thomas was a sergeant. Thomas sighed and shrugged. I spotted Patton out of the corner of my eye, cleaning the plates and humming a Dear Evan Hansen song, Requiem I believe. His mind seemed to be somewhere else entirely. Roman called Thomas to choose a movie, leaving Patton and I alone in the kitchen cleaning plates. "Do you need help, Pat?"

Patton didn't move for a few seconds, making me worry minutely. It was as if life had been put on pause and Patton's only movement was a quick eye flick up and down. "Dad?" I said cautiously, the eyes hitting me for a moment with a smirk but no recognition behind them. "Dad?" I said a little louder, and finally, something clicked.

"Oh k-kiddo! I didn't see you there - must be these ol' glasses here." Patton resumed with cleaning dishes like it wasn't a big deal that his face showed error screens. "Can you pass me that cup?" He pointed at a cup beside me which I swiftly passed over to him, his hand clutching the top of it as mine was about to leave. The hand was cold yet left my hand with faint bubbles on the knuckles, popping slowly as I brought my hand closer to my face to inspect the particles. I then carried my eyes up at his face, a faint pink as he cleared his throat. "Thank you Logie-Bear."

He has a crush on me. What could have been another reason for that pinkness after a hand touch? Well, the Dad thing is weird now. I should stop doing that. I let out a sigh and stepped back, looking side to side at each of my hands in front of me for I don't know what reason. Maybe one hand was Virgil - who was my best and possibly only friend in this strange new world and who everybody said I should date; and the other Patton - a father figure to everyone who may have a crush on me but simultaneously calls me kiddo like it's a kink.

"Kiddo?" Patton's voice echoed inside me again. "Are you alright Logan?"

"I need Virgil." I said quickly without even thinking. I could only bite my lip and sprint upstairs to the door covered in alternative band posters.

"What? F***..." A muffled voice mumbled before the door opened. Virgil's clothes were ruffled and the bed behind him looked previously occupied with Bluetooth headphones laid on the pillow. "Lo? What's up?" Virgil quickly stepped aside to let me in, shutting the door as quickly as I came in.

I looked around frantically, my hands attached to my upper arms crossing my chest. I have two people possibly in love with me? Not possible. I don't know them. They're strangers. "Does Patton love me?"

Virgil's hand left the door handle slowly and gave me a confused look. I sat down, my hands not leaving my chest. "Why do you want to know?" Virgil said gently, kneeling opposite me and placing a hand on my knee.

"Is he my Dad or my lover? I'm so confused..." Virgil nodded again, looking down in thought as my head rest in my hands.

"Biologically - he's not a Dad at all. Too gay for that." There was a pause for a moment, Virgil avoiding my face to look at his door. I followed his eyes before he spoke again. "As for the crush - I can't tell you. I would guess maybe, but nothing was solid between you and him and you showed no interest."

I took a deep breath again. My mind had calmed down. Virgil also took a deep breath, nodded and walked away slightly to inspect some random rubbish that was on his chest of drawers. "You... Do you think you like him?"

"No... I don't fall in love with strangers." I said quietly, and Virgil finally smiled. He sat next to me after getting some Haribos from under his bed. "Want to hang out until dinner Sherlock?" Virgil ate the Haribos and laughed, facing me with a smirk. I, of course, nodded. I felt like I knew Virgil rather than the strangers of Roman, Thomas and - the love interest - Patton.


	7. 5pm Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to ruin prinxiety.

As previously agreed, Virgil and I spent our time together in my room. There were slight echoes of people laughing downstairs, probably watching a movie or something - but we were enjoying the silence of my room. As everyone was telling me I enjoyed reading I decided to take it up again, sitting on my bed in a ball with a psychology book. Virgil sat on a chair upside down on his phone, humming to himself sometimes before we'd meet eyes and he'd silence.

As I read and read the time passed, the sun outside dimmed and the chatter downstairs got louder. Eventually, footsteps were heard along with the laughter, I didn't particularly track where the footsteps were until there was a knock at my door. "Hey Book Germ - Is Virgil in there with you?" Roman's voice spoke quickly at the other end of the door. Virgil perked up as he heard his name, and answered before I could.

"Yep. Here." He stood and opened the door for Roman. Roman smirked slightly at the sight of Virgil, peering over to spot me. "What do you want Princey?" Virgil said in his usual sassy and sarcastic tone, also glancing at me for a second. One look at his face showed a direct contradiction, his face seemed slightly concerned at why Roman stood in front of him - separated from Patton and Thomas downstairs. 

"Can Specs go?" Roman said quickly after a silence - maybe even nervously. From what I knew of Roman he was not the type of person to do anything nervously, and that surprise seemed to be in Virgil's face too. I nodded, making my way past the two to the corridor and watching the door to my bedroom close behind me.

I stood in the corridor in silence for a moment. The noise downstairs had quietened to a whisper as I walked around upstairs. My eyes landed on the door with alternative band posters - that I knew was empty. I couldn't help walking in.

The room was very dark, even with the light on. The wallpaper was a dark purple and the layout was pretty similar to my room. The only difference was there was no bed, duvets instead made piles on the landing of a staircase that went nowhere. I went to the stack of CDs - all alternate bands of course - and switched through the CDs with a 2000s style CD player. I then walked to the pile of blankets on the staircase and sat, keeping my eyes on the door, waiting.

There was a slight ringing in my ear as I sat. I rubbed my ears in order to get it to stop but it only got louder. I was eventually covering my ears completely, looking down at my lap and bringing my knees to my chest. Soon my breathing became laboured I knew I had to stand and walk to the door, my vision swaying as I kept my eyes ahead of me and my hands on my ears. Soon I fell to my knees in front of the door, the world spinning quickly and in a complete 180. I kept breathing and tried to keep my eyes open, finding my voice but not before hearing voices in the corridor. My ears were ringing too loud for me to decipher who it was.

"I can't believe you! He isn't as good as me - I love you!"

"HELP!" I couldn't help but scream at the top of my lungs as the world around me went black and silent. The last thing I heard was footsteps - then nothing.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The feeling came back to my fingers slowly by feeling the fabric that lay underneath my fingers. "He's moving!" I heard a muffled voice whisper and heard footsteps near me. "Logie? Are you alright kiddo?" The voice eventually became more distinctive as the light hit my eyes. Patton knelt in front of me, his face close and smiling while Virgil stood behind with a mix of concern and anger. "Are you thirsty? Hungry? Does your head hurt?" I felt as though my mouth was still sealed shut as I stared around me.

"Get him water Pat. Let me stay with him." Virgil approached behind Patton as I had the energy to move my head slightly to look up at him. Patton quickly nodded and walked to the kitchen silently, smiling at me slightly as he left and Virgil sat opposite me. "Why the f^^^ did you do that Lo?" Virgil said angrily, keeping eye contact with me. "Did you not think it was dangerous or anything?"

I sat up quietly and held my head, bringing an arm around my chest. "I didn't know..." I said quietly, my head still leaning on the sofa cushion. "It was so quick I thought it's just me..." Virgil looked down as Patton came and gave me water. After some silence to let me drink I spoke again. "What did Roman want from you, Virgil?"

Virgil looked at me and took a deep breath. "He uh... Asked me out on a date..." Virgil met my eyes with a small smirk. "Some performance of Les Mis... And I rejected."

"Why kiddo?" Patton chirped softly, facing Virgil as he sighed. "Roman's been preparing to ask you for ages!"

"I just don't see him that way." Virgil spat quickly, looking away from Patton at the wall over his shoulder. "All he does is insult me." Patton looked at Virgil sadly, then me. "Just - can we leave it? Logan should be our priority." Patton nodded as I finished the water, silently getting another and offering snacks to get my spirits up.


	8. 11am Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is shorter - It was after the most recent episode so the plot I had in my head completely changed.

"Virgil... Come and see us for a little kiddo..." Patton stood by the door with cookies, Roman lurking behind him staring at his feet. I walked over to the door confused, and Patton and Roman smiled at me. "He won't come out since - the last time we all saw Thomas..." Patton whispered, turning his head to me slightly before turning back at the door.

"Oh... um... Why?" I said quietly. They both shrugged. Maybe he was sleeping, he and I were awake all night the night before as Virgil updated me on Thomas' thoughts and feelings and what I would have thought of them by what I said. Him not leaving his room was not unusual, but apparently, he'd usually tell Patton beforehand.

"Oh, I don't know Microsoft Turd!" Roman mocked in a scowl, his arms crossed defensively over his chest as he faced away from me. "Why don't you go and ask your boyfriend?"

"Roman... Don't talk like that." Patton sighed. Roman didn't react, looking down again and tapping his foot. "Sorry Logie - he's still a little upset about Janus."

"Just let him get Virgil out. He can do that easily." Roman extended the easily slightly in a sarcastic whine before walking downstairs in a huff. Patton sighed slightly watching him leave and then turned back at the door. He smiled slightly at me as if telling me that I was the only hope in getting Virgil out of his room.

I nodded and opened the door slowly. Patton stood behind silently and let me walk in. "Get out Patton. I don't feel like it." A voice came from under the covers on the landing, surrounded by purple pillows. I walked closer slightly, fearing a very faked cough and a mumble. "I'm sick..." I sat next to him and lifted the cover slightly to reveal the glow of a brown eye spotting me and looking me over. "You know not to be here..." He mumbled and turned his head down closing his eyes.

"Can't you come to the living room?" I mumbled. "You can be sick there."

"Yeah - yeah - fine... Go." Virgil didn't move and only covered his face again. I sighed, staring in front of me and waiting. When I fainted in Virgil's room before he spent the whole day next to me, listening to music while I feasted on hot chocolate and barking at passersby checking up on me to leave me to rest. Maybe if I stayed long enough he would do it again. "Are you seriously not going to leave?" Virgil scowled, sitting up and sighing. His head fell on my shoulder silently as he copied my stare forward. "You all betrayed me. I told you not to trust Janus and you did."

"Well, I wasn't there for the conversation. It was mainly Patton and Rom-"

"Don't you dare say their names." Virgil hissed, standing and walking to the dresser to cover his pyjamas. "You still betrayed me, the previous you wouldn't have just done that to me."

"The previous me? Virgil - I'm exactly the same..." I stood and walked closer to Virgil slowly, but Virgil just gave me a glare. He placed the dressing gown across his shoulders and tied it up, the eye contact leaving me but the expression of disgust and anger staying. 

"If you were the same we'd all actually f^cking communicate..." He turned and shut the door behind me, leaving me to navigate the door again without a light source.


	9. 12pm Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of logicality to kill.

It was Patton's turn to cook lunch, and today was a relaxing day. Everyone kept to themselves; Patton was cooking lunch, Roman was watching Frozen and Virgil sat in the corner of the room covered in a blanket on his phone wearing headphones. I walked down quietly, hearing Patton cheer from the neighbouring room.

"Logie! Come help me here kiddo!" I nodded to myself and walked into the kitchen. Patton was managing plenty of different sized and shape pots and pans and running around the kitchen frantically. "Can you get the cucumber? and the lettuce? And the cheese? Oh - and the tomato..." I did as he said quietly, also checking pots and pans for fire hazards while Patton had selective attention. I stirred the pasta as I spotted it getting burnt, not before feeling a 'Pat' on my back. "Oh - bumped in on you there Logie, did I scare you?" Patton popped up next to me, his face slightly pink. Oh no - it was this whole crush situation again.

"No - I'm fine." I said, my face immediately dropping as the thought - and then the idea of rejecting who seemed to be a good friend - crossed my mind. I couldn't fall in love with strangers.

What if I made Patton a friend again? What if I told him about my memory?

"I think the pasta is thoroughly stirred Logie..." Patton whispered, slowly taking the pan from me and placing it off the stove. I could only stand still - my head couldn't formulate how to tell Patton I hardly knew him. It was easier for Virgil as we were alone and it was quiet. This situation had sizzling and beeping from timers and the faint sound of The Beatles coming from the nearby radio. Patton was telling me a story as he cooked, something about Thomas but at this point, I was blocking his voice out with the noise from the rest of the room.

"Pat..." I mumbled quietly, letting my mouth just spirt what it needed to. I couldn't process a stranger in love with me if I didn't say what I needed to; or further angering my closest friend, Virgil, if I did. Patton appeared next to me, giving me a concerned look as I avoided his eyes. His hand landed on my shoulder to reassure me as he gazed up at me - wanting to trap my eyes in contact.

This seemed like a romantic situation when it really wasn't. My mouth was paused as was the rest of my body. I begged for Virgil to walk in and save me, drag me away and say calming and reassuring words to calm me down. That didn't happen though.

"What's wrong kiddo? You know you can tell me anything..." Patton's soft voice echoed, I was still. It was silence again for a moment before I felt soft pink lips hit my cheek and then a soft giggle. "You don't have to tell me..."

"Paps... Logan?" Virgil stood at the doorway, eyes wide staring at both of us. He was obviously about to grab the nearby fridge door but was instead paused with a slightly open mouth, watching Patton return to cooking food like a predator watching its prey. "Are you- oh - um... Congrats?" And with that Virgil turned and ran upstairs again, probably never to be retrieved.

Patton smirked at me lightly, glancing at my body; his eyes travelling from my chest up and then down again. "I almost lost hope y'know." He said, serving the pasta on the table in the kitchen. "You and Virgil just seemed so close - I just believed you were destined together." Patton kissed my cheek again and sat down, gazing up at me and putting his foot towards the chair next to him.

I sat in silent thought. Patton tried to hold my hand and kiss my cheek but I leant away. I had to tell him now. "Aww you shy now my little Logie-Bear?" I ate quickly, hoping just running away would give him the idea I wasn't into him, but he continued. "Has anyone ever complimented your eyes? I know they're the same but yours are beautiful..."

"I never said I liked you." I said quickly and simply, using my 'beautiful' eyes to glare daggers. Patton sat back but said nothing. "I was going to say you were a stranger to me - about a week ago I lost my memory and Virgil has helped me regain it slightly. Now I believe you're still a stranger." I stood hastily and left, leaving the warm pasta half eaten on the table just as Roman walked in for his serving. Our shoulders brushed as I walked out, apart from that nothing was said as I went upstairs.

I knocked at Virgil's door before walking in. I knew it was rude but I also knew Virgil would definitely not let me in otherwise. Virgil sat in the corner, facing a wall mirror covered in stickers but broken at the corners. I heard a slight squeaky mumble as I entered, he returned into a ball before looking up at me. "You're a dick you know." He said simply before looking at the mirror again. "Leave me alone."

As I sat next to Virgil I could spot his bloodshot eyes, and that his eyeshadow had trailed further down his cheeks. "Have you been crying?" I brought my arm around his shoulders for a hug but he hissed - loudly. "Did - Did you just hiss at me?"

"I do that when I reach my limit with stupid questions." He wiped his eyes again, a small chuckle escaping as he looked back at me. "You really have no clue do you?"

"About what? Happy pappy Patton just kissed me even though I never even said I liked him back - I felt no attraction to him in fact - and now I just had to 'break up' with him by telling him I have amnesia. I doubt he'd even believe me..." And before I could process I felt Virgil's two arms around me, on his knees to reach me, and his laughing face leant on my shoulder.

"Keep it like that Sherlock. You're such an idiot."


	10. 3pm Sunday

"PIGGY BACK!" Virgil screamed chaotically, jumping on my back as we were both strangling ourselves with laughter. I carried him to the sofa and threw him down, spotting Roman, Patton and a visiting Thomas watching us curiously.

Virgil had calmed down now, smiling and laughing more than he did before without a care in the world. Now we were playing like children with judgemental parents drinking coffee watching us.

"So... Logan lost all his memory a few days ago and Virgil has been teaching him how to be himself?" Thomas questioned as he sipped on his coffee. Patton and Roman nodded. "God - Janus would have so many questions..."

"Janus?" Virgil shouted, standing on the sofa in a second as his glance became the usual stern look. "Janus is coming?"

"Yes Virgil." Thomas said deeply and clearly, looking directly at Virgil as he spoke. "We gave you a few days to compose yourself after the news but now I really think Janus should move in with you guys."

"MOVE IN?" Virgil screamed louder, nervousness showing in his voice as he looked back at me. "I-I-I I didn't agree to this. I thought he was just going to play Devil's advocate in our discussions not... Be one of us..." Virgil stared at the floor, his eyes wide, his breathing shallow. He knew he had no power to argue.

"Now don't act like that Emo Nightmare. We let you move in when you started to 'appear' in our discussions - So as much as we hate it, it's fair he has his own room here too." Virgil seemed to zone out what Roman was saying, shaking his head and covering his face as he sat in a ball on the sofa. "That being said, creating a Dark Side room for a snake hybrid turned nice would be difficult - and as I don't want s^x toys it's better I don't let Remus do it..." Roman mumbled to himself for a few seconds as I knelt in front of Virgil and stroked his knee. He gave me the look of a lost puppy, his hazel eyes glowing and trapping me as our breaths unified into one and my thoughts filtered into ones of bringing him closer, keeping him close, admiring his smell and feeling his lips and...

"WHAT?" Virgil screamed again, quickly turning to Roman again and pushing me out of the entrapment of his eyes. "I... I have to sleep in Logan's room?"

"Just for a few days Stormy-Sh^t. It will be quicker if I just copy-paste your room and change the colours and placement of the furniture - and add a bed of course - Jekyll and Hyde actually uses a bed like a normal person." As Roman explained the intricacies of creativity I finally processed what was happening, chucking the thoughts I had begun to have about sharing a bed with Virgil for a few days would entail.

"I wouldn't mind you in my room Virgil, of course." I finally spoke up, standing too in order to sit at the table with Roman, Patton and Thomas. Thomas chuckled like a teenager at Virgil's eyes going even wider until they looked like they'd come out their sockets. "If you don't feel comfortable sharing a bed with me you can always sleep in our movie hangout space, there are plenty of pillows there for you to feel comfortable." I poured some tea for myself and sat, watching Virgil for any reaction that involved in him moving his agape mouth.

"I... um... uh..." Virgil stuttered, looking around quickly to regain any idea of where he was and what was happening. "Sure! I mean - I'm cool with that. I should... um... clean all the stuff I don't want Janus to find out of my room." Virgil scattered upstairs quickly, leaving me sipping tea with the Light Sides and Thomas.

Patton kept his head down for all this ordeal. What I said to Patton was harsh, I must say, but it had to be said that way to give Patton the right idea of what I felt about him. I could have been softer, I should have been softer, and I still needed to apologise. I hadn't thought Patton would have been so affected, I saw him wander into Roman's room as I went in and out of Virgil's room. It was obvious Roman had suffered heartbreak after being rejected by Virgil, but Roman had seemed to have moved on quickly.

'Who could not fall in love with Virgil...' The voice in my head echoed. I killed that thought as soon as it arrived, Virgil was just a good friend of mine, maybe a brother in platonic relationship. But the voice prevailed, speaking again gently as a slideshow of Virgil took over my thoughts. I saw his glowing eyes again, watched his lips as he bit them - a bad habit I apparently always used to attack him for as it would lead to 'red clown lips'. Even the word lips made me imagine my lips against his, then my arms around his waist, then his fingers coaxing the buttons of my shirt. I could feel the heat travelling up from my neck to my cheeks, making my whole face a light crimson as I tried to stop the slideshow from progressing into... more intimate positions with my best friend.

"What's wrong Pat?" Thomas spoke gently to Patton, allowing my mind to focus on something else actually present in reality. "You don't usually have nothing to say when I'm here."

"I'm sorry... Dad." I said, hoping the red would disappear from my cheeks enough for the apology to be taken seriously. "You truly have been a friend to me during my amnesia, that misunderstanding was nothing but a slip-up on both our parts."

"I take your apology." Patton smiled at me in response, then giggled slightly. "At least I know that..." He waved a finger around pointing at my face. "Isn't my doing."


	11. 7pm Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus moves into the Sanders Sides home, and Logan takes some actions.

Dinner was as it usually was. I learnt quickly to not expect much from this house of mismatched friends apart from the occasional fire in the kitchen or argument over a Disney movie that resulted in a sofa cushion being 'yeeted' at another individual. Dinner times were especially monotone - people had usually run out of energy by then to cause any major arguments or life altering discussions, so conversations only got as interesting as whether it was socially acceptable to pour milk and then cereal or whether it was true that all toast landed spreading side then resulting experimentation of all the bread in the house with a disregard of who would want toast for breakfast the next morning.

Usually in times like this I analysed everyone's behaviours to get small hints of how I should act around them. The pressure of keeping that up had decreased as they all knew I had no idea what I was doing, but I had started doing it subconsciously. It even got to the point I could identify Roman's slight nervousness by the way he looked up at the ceiling lamp and twirled his fork in his hand anti-clockwise then clockwise before eating again. He did that before asking Virgil on a date and I considered it odd, and then again this dinner time.

Virgil also looked at me for one second more than usual, and twice as frequently. Maybe he was nervous about sleeping in my room tonight - or that his previous enemy would overtake his personal space for however long it took to create an entirely new room. He would only stop for an infinitesimal amount, his lips separating slightly and one eyebrow - usually on the side closest to me - lifting before he'd do one gentle shake of his head and carry on eating. I loved seeing it honestly - it was so cute when he did it.

Did I just call Virgil cute? He's not cute. Definitely didn't mean to think that.

The door opened and shut quietly as we were cleaning the plates up after we ate. "Jany!" Patton squealed, running up to a yellow snake hybrid and hugging him. The hybrid gave Patton a confused glare before giving a defeated yet satisfied shrug and accepting it. "Have you got all your luggage with you? We'll get everything ready in Virgil's room, you're sleeping there tonight." Patton grabbed the golden suitcase Janus was dragging with him and walked upstairs, Roman also helping with a few bags. Janus was about to follow suit before Thomas stood and walked up to him.

"Come and have some leftover fish casserole with us Janus." Thomas guided Janus to the table and sat him down. Virgil and I looked at each other momentarily, I gave a confused glance but Virgil's was definitely more anxious. I could tell he wasn't liking our new resident. I grabbed his hand in reassurance and squeezed it, letting Virgil let out a quiet deep breath.

"Well, well, well... You weren't kidding Thomathy." Janus mumbled as the fish casserole was placed in front of him. "They really are a couple huh?" Thomas let out a small chuckle as he sat with us. Virgil immediately let go of my hand.

"I can assure you we're not." I said, revealing both my hands on the table and leaned forward slightly. "Virgil and I are just very good friends, and he's been very nervous about your arrival."

"Oh of course he has - He's worried he won't be the spweshal wittle Dwark Swide!" Virgil kept his head down, shaking his head and trying to grab my hand again under the table even though neither was hidden then. Thomas sighed and gave Janus a glare, and Janus lifted his eyebrows in realisation. "Guess I need to get rid of my old habits while I'm here."

Thomas sighed and nodded. "We know this would be difficult for both of you to live peacefully - but you can at least try, right?" Virgil and Janus nodded simultaneously. "Good, now it's getting late. I'm going to head home." Thomas stood and yawned, moving his shoulders back slightly and walking to the door. "I'll tell y'all when I next visit, later." And just like that Thomas opened the door and disappeared into the night in search of his own house.

"C-can you show me where I'm sleeping Lo?" Virgil whispered with his head still down, so quiet that I had to lean closer to him to hear his voice. After I heard what he said I nodded and Virgil stood and left. I said a quick goodbye to Janus before following.

—————————————————-

"I can sleep on the floor Sherlock. It's no biggie." Virgil said, louder and more confident now there wasn't a snake listening to him. "I'll sleep on the other side of the room so we're not invading each other's personal bubbles, that pile of clothes is mine as I don't want to mix it up with yours and we both reach for the drawer handle at the same time and we awkwardly hold hands and..." Virgil kept on rambling, his hand waving through his hair and his breathing travelling all the way through his body so his back was in synch with his breaths. I, meanwhile, battled his clothing pile placing his clothes the same way I stored mine. Virgil was still distracted. 

"You're over-reacting Virgil. You can take my bed for tonight - as you obviously need - and I can ask Roman for a second bed tomorrow morning." Virgil snapped into action quickly hearing that, and grabbed one of the t-shirts I was packing away.

"No, no Logan. I want to sleep on the floor - I prefer it - Like a cat in a heatwave..."

"So you're like a cat then?" I smirked, taking the t-shirt back watching Virgil's face turn a slight crimson. I smoothed out the end of my bed while Virgil silently kept his eyes on me. "Do you sleep in a ball Virgil?" Virgil nodded. "Then sleep at the end of my bed. My feet won't reach you, but you can move up if you'd like." And with a wink I got into bed.

What the f^^^ was I doing? Me, flirting? Never.


	12. 10:30am Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Logan wake up late and bond. They chat about anything that interests them, and eventually talk about why Virgil hates Janus.
> 
> Logan also realises he’s in love.

I could feel Virgil's arm wrap around my chest as I woke up slowly. Seeming everyone except Janus knew about my amnesia, there was less pressure to wake up a quarter before 7 to make breakfast for everyone. I opened my eyes and yawned, smiling slightly and glancing at the glow in the dark stars above me as the birds chirped outside. Virgil was fast asleep next to me, making me smile wider at his utter bliss and innocence. I flicked his fringe just to watch him wake up - another small moment I wanted to keep in my mind forever on replay. 

He nuzzled his nose like a small cat before returning his hand to touch my chest. After a few seconds he opened one of his eyes and then quickly moved his arm away. "Sorry Lo... I didn't realise where my arm was..." He then rolled on his back and wiped his eyes with the arm he was lying on. "How did you sleep?" He turned to me and I got a full glimpse at his morning face. He couldn't remove his eyeshadow properly so blackness lined the bottom lashes of his eyes, causing his eyes to glow and expand more as he gazed up at me like black moons. I just wanted to grab his forearms, go on top of him and kiss him deeply. I just wanted him. 

Maybe I am in love with Virgil.

"What the f^^^ you staring at?" Virgil laughed with his sleepy smile appearing, his low raspy sleepy voice almost making my blush out of control. I read somewhere that if you are in love with someone's face as soon as they wake up, you were destined to be in love forever. It was definitely true - or at least I hoped. I loved him more when I saw him. 

"Uh... Looks like my bed's pretty comfy right?" Virgil smirked and let out a breath as I sat up and ruffled my hair. He seemed to gaze at me in silence for a few good minutes while I stood and stretched getting my clothes for the day. "You still seem to be in a kind of dream like state." I laughed at him. He immediately looked away and closed his eyes sleepily again.

"Just thinking about my new room." He yawned, stretching his arms up and looking at the plain wall that faced his side of the bed. "Maybe I should get a bed... I thought it was cheaper to just have pillows and blankets on my staircase but..." He mumbled slightly before carrying on speaking, enjoying his comfy bliss before escaping it to also get out the bed. "That bed is just so damn comfy! I don't know how you get up in the morning."

"Usually when you pounce on my bed at 6:45." I laughed, passing him his favourite hoodie which he quickly wrapped around his grey tank top. "Any good dreams?"

Virgil's face immediately shot up to a shade of pink, distracting him from looking through the wardrobe for his own clothes. I giggled slightly but dared not ask for more details on the said dream that heated up his cheeks. I understood testosterone, and that creepy lovey-dovey dreams often appeared without a warning and no reason behind them. He definitely wasn't in love with anyone.

"S-so what's the plan today?" Virgil asked quietly as I was about to walk into the bathroom to get changed. I shrugged and leant against the door. "Well we can have our movie night tonight - and avoid Janus all day." 

"What is it with you and Janus?" I asked, fixing my shirt as I walked back in my room. Virgil was also completely dressed too in his usual hoodie and jeans. I had got slightly more used to dressing as I used to before my amnesia; swapping a t-shirt for the button-up shirt I saw in old pictures of me. I still hated ties with a burning passion though, and that probably won’t change.

“We used to be best friends...” Virgil said quietly, sitting on my bed and doing up his shoes. “Like we are, and it was special... I trusted him.” I sat next to Virgil and put my arm around him as he kept his head down. 

“What happened?”

“We fell in love...” Virgil bit his bottom lip and smirked even though his eyes were getting watery. “He kissed me - I kissed back - it was magic.” He chuckled and leant his head on my shoulder. “Then Remus found out and you haven’t heard that many sex jokes - trust me.” He came closer and smiled, a genuine and honestly beautiful smile. His hair rubbed my neck and our knees touched, but he didn’t seem to care. Why would he care? He was probably still heartbroken - and I desired for him to fall in love with me. “He ghosted me, and we lived together Lo... It was torture - absolute torture going from making out to watching him walk the other way through the door whenever I wanted to speak to him.” I watched his eyes as he vented, feeling trapped by them again and wanting desperately to touch his lips with mine. He kept his eyes on the floor until I started tapping my fingers on my knee to distract myself from my desires - and he watched it. “Have you ever been in love Sherlock?” Virgil asked suddenly, his eyes jolting to meet mine. 

“I don’t remember.” Virgil chuckled a little and rolled his eyes. He lifted his head up again and stood, packing away his pyjamas into the wardrobe. “I think Patton’s... experience... has scarred me for a while.” Yes I was lying through my teeth, I knew that. But Virgil was an important friend.

“I guess we’re one in the same.” Virgil smirked, shutting the closet door and leaning against it just... smiling at me. “You want to help me face the snake b^tch?” He brought out a hand as he walked over. I took it and he helped me stand, but didn’t let go. “Thanks for being here for me.”


	13. 11am Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Logan go downstairs for lunch, and Janus first interacts with Logan.

Virgil took a deep breath as he and I walked down the steps. We mirrored each other with our hoodies, biting the top of the sleeve and listening in. I could hear laughing and whispering from the kitchen, the famILY were making lunch together - including Janus. I lead the walk to the kitchen with Virgil trailing behind. "What are we making?"

"Looks like we're making love!" Roman screamed, appearing behind us and grabbing Virgil's shoulders, making him quickly turn and hiss. "How was your special night together? You're up late - Janus told me you shared a bed!" Virgil's eyes widened and the hissing stopped abruptly.

"Janus was looking?" He screamed, his face becoming red as he looked around frantically. Janus sipped his tea calmly, leaning on the fridge and the neighbouring counter watching the situation unfold. "Better question - WHY was he looking?"

"Roman was just giving me a tour of the rooms - nothing racy." He took another sip of his tea and handed me the empty cup. "Clean that for me ru-b*tch cube." He pat my shoulder and helped Patton cut sandwiches and mix salad. I did as said quickly and silently. Virgil sighed, looking down and then climbing on the counter to squeeze on the windowsill next to where I was standing.

"For your information - b*tch - We didn't have another option. I felt bad for making Virgil sleep on the floor, so I offered the alternative and he took it. I was going to ask Roman for him to make a second bed in my room before I was rudely interrupted." I finished cleaning the mug Janus gave me and handed it back to him, soaking wet with the bubbles falling on his perfectly clean glove. "And also Roman, for your information, 'making love' is a psudenym for sexual activity."

"Since when did the Teacher up the sass factor?" Janus said over the shocked Roman noises.

"Since you upped the annoyance factor - I guess..." Virgil mumbled finally, getting a snack from the fridge but staying where he sat. "I do need another bed in Lo's room though - asap."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Roman sighed once he finished his meal, sitting on the small table in the kitchen and flicking through interior design books. "I'll make Virgil's spare bed, then Janus' room..." Roman sighed. I had never seen Roman so overwhelmed with work; nor had I ever seen him with any work to do. 

"And then we can work on Logie's brain right? Get his memory back..." Everyone paused and turned to Patton; Roman and Virgil glaring at his and Janus raising an eyebrow and looking at me. No-one said anything for a few minutes, watching each other to see who would first make the move towards explaining my vulnerable situation to this new housemate. From what Virgil told me, Janus was very manipulative when he wanted to be, so knowing that I could be told a complete lie and believe it with enough evidence could destroy any trust we had developed with him. I hated being vulnerable. 

"Logan has amnesia?" Janus said slowly, walking towards me and placing the cup he was holding down. He didn't seem threatening in that one moment, his face seemed gentle and kind. Maybe that was a ploy though, lull me into a full sense of security. "And no-one told me?"

"Because you're not one of us two-dickhead." Virgil dragged me back, stepping in front of me and giving Janus a deadly glare. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, bringing me to his chest where I could feel the pulsing of his chest get quicker. "Just leave us alone alright? Once you have your room just stay there and leave my friends alone."

Janus stepped back wide eyed before I piped up again. "Is that... fair Verge?" Virgil paused and stared at me. "I know your past with Janus but - maybe he can actually help us..." I looked at Janus for a moment with a look of hope, the two of them finally reconciling would be good for Thomas after all, and Thomas needed a keep-me-up seeming I was almost useless.

"I can actually."

"You can? Did you cause this Jekyll and Lies?" Roman stood hearing this, also standing in front of my to 'protect' me as if he had an effect. Janus sighed and approached Patton, whispering his ear as we tried to listen in. Patton had been unusally quiet throughout this, probably watching our teething issues with no idea how to stop it without causing more arguments. He was the first to accept Janus after all. 

"If you don't want to listen to me, Patton can explain it to you..." Janus then stepped back, lowered his head into a bow, and walked out of the kitchen. Patton sighed as Virgil and Roman stepped away from me so Patton could see all three of us as he spoke.

"In order to keep Remus - slightly sane - Janus erases his memory when he gets too erratic. He did so almost a week ago, but he messed it up a little and it escaped the Dark area..." We all looked at each other confused before Patton spoke again. "The way he gets Remus' memories back is by uploading them. He gets the memories off me, and I have memories for all of you. That's how we sort this."

"So you had the answer all along Pat? And you didn't say as soon as you knew?" Virgil finally growled, crossing his arms and shaking his head. Patton could only sigh as Janus stood by the door again. "You know what - f*ck it - let's get Logan's memories back." He grabbed my hand and lead me out, pushing Janus out the room as he passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for access to Logan's old memories! I'll try to write those chapters quicker - sorry for the slow updates.


	14. Memory 1 - Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's memories of meeting Patton, Roman and Virgil for the first time is uploaded into his brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90s fashion and interior design is very confusing

Memory Uploading...

I was placed in another entirely new situation. At first, I thought I had somehow got amnesia again until I heard a familiar voice of Roman and Patton. Well, it was familiar somewhat but not completely - the voices were slightly higher pitched. Vision eventually started to focus and I could understand the surroundings.

The wallpaper was covered in small pink flowers unlike the plain cream it usually was and the floor was patterned carpet covered by an atrocious red and yellow carpet. The TV was a small box and there was a record player in the corner rather than the family Nintendo Switch. Patton and Roman walked in together, both had gelled spikey hair and baggy denim jeans. Roman wore a green t-shirt and an oversized red plaid shirt on his shoulders whereas Patton wore a plain white t-shirt and a denim jacket. Roman also had white stripes on two sides of his hair and growing facial hair around the moustache area. His voice also didn't sound at all the same, it was more snarky that felt more similar to nails on a chalkboard. I then looked down at my own outfir that had changed to a dark blue waistcoat and black shirt. We all looked a lot younger too - but I couldn't put my finger on how old.

But one thing was definite - this was the 90s.

"Who are you?" Roman echoed turning to me. "Morality - does the whole tarting 7th grade thing bring any new Sides?" Roman then turned to Patton, somehow only called Morality - which made Roman Creativity and me, Logic.

"Mhm!" Patton cheered and walked over to shake my hand. "You must be Logic correct? You'll basically help Thomas learn now school's getting harder - does that sound good?"

"Um, thank you..." I said quietly, my prepubescent voice peering through. It felt lonely, the room previously had five people in and out at one time but now it seemed to be just us three. "Where's the homework?"

My vision then became slightly fuzzy again, and everything went into fast forward. I watched Patton and Roman wonder in and out the living room, their fashion and the design of the room only changing slightly. I turned my head to the coffee table that appeared in front of me as my body aged and began to enter puberty. Flashcards and projects also materialised in front of me as time started to slow again placing us around 14 years old.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memory Uploading...

I looked through the flashcards in front of me on the Civil War, all dates and numbers I remembered from freshman year of high school but hadn't cared to properly maintain the information. The situation I had to learn these facts weren't exactly quiet however, Creativity wouldn't shut up.

"I'm telling you Morality, the audition was so easy. I mean it's Midsummer Nights Dream! How can we go wrong with Shakespeare of all people?" Creativity threw himself on the sofa with his head hitting my leg making us both flinch slightly as I moved further away. "And that Bottom song they made us sing - Such a simple tune - Really..." He then started singing in a raspy pubescent voice that obviously didn't match Thomas' stage in puberty. Morality hummed a little to encourage him but was also struggling to stand Creativity's singing voice. 

"Can you be quiet?" I whispered, glaring at Creativity before turning back to my flashcards. "I think Thomas has an exam soon..."

"Exam shmaxam - Who cares? We're in the school play!" Creativity sat up and faced me, before sighing and messing up all the revision in front of me while I tried to grab what he was holding to make it stop. "Look at all this - we could spend this time learning lines for our first rehearsal rather than this stupid war."

"Don't argue you two." Morality said sharply, walking over to organise my flashcards again and shoo Creativity out of the way. "This American History exam is still important, as all of Thomas' schooling is."

"Why?" Creativity whined and lay down again. Morality was about to answer before another voice erupted across the room.

"If he drops out, he can never be in any plays again - let alone Broadway."

Creativity sat up silently, looking around confused. I followed the voice also, finding a new yet reassuring silhouette my the entrace to the living room. His hair was the classic emo fringe, dark makeup around his eyes and wearing ripped black jeans and a Fall Out Boy shirt - certainly a more modern look than Creativity, Morality and I. His face showed an absolute lack of emotion, maybe slight anger, no happiness in sight. "Anxiety. And it's time for you to shut your bloody mouth and let Thomas learn."

Creativity nodded silently. "Oh! It's a new Side - finally!" Morality stood up and walked over to Anxiety to give him a hug. Anxiety cowered away from the hug and scowled, ignoring Morality's hurt face as he sat next to me. Morality sighed. "I'll make you a welcome cake kiddo - Can you help me Creativity?" Creativity nodded silently again and walked with Morality into the kitchen. 

"You're the famous Logic? It's nice to finally meet you." Anxiety mumbled to me, his voice becoming more gentle than when he was demanding Creativity to care about Thomas' education. "Now - Focus on your work and absorb all the information. If you do as much as move your head I'll startle you."

I laughed slightly and nodded. This memory was also weird, yet very comfortable now that my best friend was next to me. With the new names, the new looks, the 90s surroundings - yet it felt homely. Virgil's eyes hadn't changed, their glimmer remained there even under the dark eyeshadow. Time sped up again watching the world transform, the room becoming less 90s and more 2000s as we grew just by simply Virgil's presence, and our clothing fitting the same era as Virgil's too as the surroundings began to completely fade into black.


	15. Memory 2 - Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan remembers when his life changed forever - and he was separated from his best friend Virgil.

Most of the memories that went through my mind weren't that eventful, only small moments where I learnt something new about a Side - like Janus' love of snakes or when I gave Patton a cat hoodie. Some, however, were very upsetting - even though I knew how they ended most of the time. But they were certainly eventful and stuck in my mind until they were answered, making me cry and want to change things even though I was prewarned to not interact too much to avoid the 'butterfly effect'.

Memory Uploading...

The most upsetting one was one of the first majorly life-changing ones. It took place in the late 2000s, the surroundings and outfits were a weird mash-up between the 90s surroundings the memories began in and the look I was used to in 2020. In this memory I was cooking in the kitchen, away from anyone else in the house and silent - at first, I thought this memory could just be one where I could step back and start thinking about something else to pass the time. 

That was until Anxiety appeared next to me and tapped my shoulder. "You need to see what Self-Care and Creativity are doing..." Virgil whispered, his growth spurt still not coming in making him look childlike while he looked at me with a small smirk and glowing eyes. We ran through the house together, eventually leading to what was Roman's room, but at that point was decorated red and green rather than red and gold. Anxiety knocked excitedly and the half-snake hybrid opened the door.

Self-Care's outfit was probably the most similar to his current outfit as Janus in the fact that in this period he had his cape slung around his shoulders. Granted it was paired with black slim-cut jeans and a yellow and black flannel shirt and his hat was a black dad hat rather than his derby hat - but it was still somewhat similar. Creativity had yet to get in his prince outfit at all. He wore a red and green knitted jumper usually with a white shirt underneath.

Apart from this instance, where Creativity wore only his white shirt and lay on his bed, Self-Care looming over him like a bird circling an almost dead animal. "How long have you been struggling to sleep Creativity?" Self-Care said, rolling up Creativity's green and red jumper and laying it over Creativity's chest. 

"A few weeks, I guess." Creativity glanced at Anxiety and I, for only a moment before closing his eyes. Anxiety giggled to himself, watching Self-Care's movements like a child watching a magic show. "My imagination's just been so... imaginative?"

"You mean intrusive." Self-Care said simply, then it was silent. He spent a few minutes touching the bed - and then touching Creativity - and lastly commanded me to shut the door. Once the door was shut Creativity let out a blood-curdling scream as a flame erupted from his chest. I leant against the door as Anxiety an I watched, both scared and concerned for our friend. 

The screaming stopped just as a large pile of - something - hit the floor. Creativity sat up shakily as we approached. "Is it over?" Creativity asked quietly, gazing up at Self Care and holding onto what was his green and red jumper but had become a simple red sash. Self-Care nodded, making a glass of water appear and kneeling on the floor in front of whatever fell from who was definitely now the Roman I knew. The form eventually took shape and colour, becoming an exact replica of Roman apart from wearing a green sash and stealing all the facial hair Creativity had started to grow. 

I could immediately recognise this new being as the Remus I had been told about. I had never met Remus but knew of him and his annoyance. The green Creativity rubbed his temples and sat up, then the two Creativities met eyes.

"Who is that?" They both said simultaneously, not leaving each other's direct eye contact even while Remus drank.

"Red Creativity is the good and pure Creativity, suitable for Thomas' creative development. Green Creativity is the less suitable thoughts, but don't worry, he's weak at the moment from the - surgery." Self-Care carried on explaining the difference between the twins while Anxiety slowly approached 'Green Creativity'. Green Creativity stared at Anxiety unsure as Anxiety held out a hand, but he eventually took it and Anxiety helped him stand. 

After Self-Care spoke some more we decided to go back downstairs. No-one wanted to tell Morality about this magic spell Self-Care put to split the Creativities, so they decided to just tell him that Green Creativity had just randomly appeared like Anxiety and I did. We opened the door and started to walk down the stairs, where surprisingly Morality was waiting for us - but he wasn't happy.

"What have I told you about interfering with the other sides Self-Care?" Morality snapped, meeting Self-Care on the final step while Anxiety, the two Creativities and I awkwardly walked past. Self-Care only scowled and rolled his eyes, leaning against the bannister and speaking calmly.

"I'm sorry I'm doing my job Morality. I was helping Creativity and this-" He pointed at the two Creativities now staring at each other and entertaining themselves happily by mirroring each other, "was the best solution."

"Oh, everything was fine before you came along!"

Everyone's eyes widened at that statement from Morality and it was so quiet you could hear the twins' whispers to each other to maintain their mirroring activity. Anxiety instinctively grabbed my hand and shuffled closer and we knelt on the sofa cushions, barricading ourselves from any impact by cowering behind the back of the couch. 

Self-Care took a breath in, and then a breath out, keeping his calm monotone voice. "Are you suggesting I move out of the Mind Palace?" Morality seemed to only hesitate from a moment before nodding. "Alright then..." Self-Care walked towards the door, grabbing a small yellow bag of his and sighing again. "I shall take Green - or maybe Bad Creativity if you see me as such an antagonist - and you can keep the other one. As for Logic and Anxiety..."

"No way," Anxiety whispered, almost cuddling into me hoping I'd shelter him somehow.

"We're separating them?" Morality chirped, but this chirp was more quiet and anxious rather than the loud and bubbly voice I was used to. "That would drive both of them mad!"

"Exactly." Self-Care said sharply, glaring at Morality as he gave both of us our bags. "And if you can't choose I'm taking both of them with me." I saw Anxiety's eyes glow a little bit when Self-Care suggested the possibility of us staying together.

"No!" Morality walked forwards and snatched my bag from my hands giving Self-Care an equally aggressive stare. "I need Logic with me." Morality's cheeks went a little pink just as he took my bag - this must have been when Patton had a crush on me - and had the ability to do something about it somewhat. "He's good for Thomas."

That was the moment Self-Care seemed to snap. He grabbed Anxiety's arm even though he was crying and screaming in refusal and threw him towards the door. Green Creativity had already understood the situation and was there at the door to catch Anxiety before he hurt himself and restrain him so he couldn't run. "See you later - or never - enjoy being f^cking light and happy."

I felt impelled to stand. It didn't feel as though I was breaking the butterfly effect rule though - almost felt as though inside I was saying a minimal amount and listening as I should even though my body walked up to Self-Care and my voice box activated. "This is a HUGE over-reaction," I said, grabbing Self-Care's cape and holding it tightly so he couldn't leave. "Self-Care - you are a valued part of Thomas. We can all work together to solve this drift rather than tearing friend-"

I was interrupted by a slap with a bare, dry hand, causing me to instinctively let go of the cape and hold the cheek that had been slapped and was starting to sting. That was the first time physical violence had ever been used on or by one of us and the faces of everyone showed it. Well, the faces of everyone apart from Self-Care. His eyes seemed to glow an unearthly green and his mouth became a snarl showing a long, sharp canine tooth. 

"Self-Ca-"  
"Deceit!" Self-Care's scream erupted in my ear. "I am Deceit now and forever. Enjoy your time together Light Sides - I won't miss you."


	16. Memory 3 - Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logic and Anxiety figure out Thomas is gay, and in turn, so are they.

Memory Uploading...

After Virgil left, most of the memories deemed important to go through were very unconsequential and honestly boring. Most only involved me staring at a book pretending to read while overhearing a small argument or discussion between Red Creativity and Morality. We had also already decided on our names quite quickly after Deceit, Anxiety and Green Creativity left but I still felt more comfortable calling everyone by their roles as technically I didn't know Virgil's name yet as we weren't allowed to share our new names with the 'Dark Sides'.

This particular memory started as they always did - reading. This time I was reading on my bed, sitting cross-legged, in the shirt and tie quite similar to the modern me. I would say in this memory I, and the rest of the Sides, were early twenties. 

All was peaceful until I heard frantic knocking. I quickly opened the door expecting Red Creativity or Morality to come rushing through, but the hallway was empty. I then looked around, not yet figuring where the knocking came from. That was until I heard a scream from behind my bookcase; the same bookcase that his our 'Movie Hangout Spot'. Apart from it wasn't a movie hangout spot now decorated in blankets and pillows. Instead, when I moved the bookcase out the way it held a petrified Anxiety. "We have a huge emergency Logic, like - huge. Not like last week when we ran out of peanut butter." Anxiety said as he walked in, his hands shaking through his hair as he paced around the perimeter of my room. "And before you ask - yes I did make a mini room in your room so I could teleport in without a trace being left behind that I was here." Anxiety pointed at the movie hangout spot, which seemed much larger now this was the first time I saw it completely empty. "But what did they expect us to do just not speak to each other? Anyway, that isn't the problem at hand."

"Then what is the problem at hand?" I mumbled as I closed the door to my room, still being safe in that I didn't cause butterfly effects, but Anxiety seemed more preoccupied with pacing my room than whether I would say something I shouldn't have.

"I'm getting to that!" Anxiety raised his voice slightly, pointing at me but looking down, pausing in his tracks while his face looked strained and tired. I sat at my desk and turned my spinny chair to face him. A small smile crept across my face watching him pace and chatter again. This was the Virgil I knew.

Eventually, Virgil faced me, his hand holding each other behind his back as he held a quiet deep breath. "Professor Atkins is hot."

"You mean our Statistical Physics teacher?"

"Yes, our male physics teacher." This must have been the point Thomas was a college student. Anxiety stared at me as he said 'male' as if it was some kind of slur as if he was somehow ashamed of it. "Thomas can't have a crush on a guy! That's impossible! It means..."

"We're gay. What's wrong with that?" I shrugged and spun back and forth on my chair at 45-degree angles. Anxiety didn't seem to have an answer to that, he only looked down with his shocked expression and slightly agape mouth remaining, standing still even though his mind was obviously going at a million miles an hour. 

"We can't be like gay gay - what if our family would hate us? Maybe we're like semi-gay or something and we can just ignore our crush on Professor Atkins..." Anxiety started to speak quickly again, trying to talk through his thought processes but only digging himself into a deeper anxious hole. I walked up to him slowly while he rambled, placing each of my hands on his shoulders while he simultaneously grabbed my forearms and brought his fingers around them, grabbing on for his life.

"I believe the 'semi-gay' word you're looking for is bisexual, and the belief that Thomas is that is a falsehood. He has never had a crush on a girl in his many years of education so I doubt that's going to change. His crushes have always been on guys that we've just dismissed as jealousy." We stayed in our stance while I talked his thoughts through to calm him down. We kept our eyes on each other until eventually Anxiety's breathing slowed and his grip on me loosened. "And we don't have to find Thomas' answer to love straight away, he is still young, nothing is set in stone until Thomas himself is ready to explore it without a sudden anxiety spike." 

I believe what happened after is described as a spark. Anxiety had calmed and our breathing had begun to synch with each others. We didn't feel the need to speak to each other to communicate - we just stared at each other. Anxiety tilted his head slightly making a hair fall over his eye, I removed the hair, tucking it behind his ear again before returning my hand to his shoulder. As I brushed the hair out of Anxiety's face I brushed his cheek, which I felt getting warmer the longer I touched him. His pupils dilated and a small smirk appeared on both of our faces. It felt right to kiss him, apart from I knew it wasn't. His first love was Janus, therefore his first kiss was Janus... Right?

Anxiety broke the eye contact only to look down and step closer. I felt the centre of his hips against my leg, and immediately became red. I was definitely gay.

My anxiety was heightened as he went on his tip-toes slowly, rising and keeping our eye contact again. Then our lips touched. I wanted to move my hands to his waist, hold him in a hug, kiss him back passionately and pin him against the wall so I could keep him. That wasn't what this past me had in mind though - I was frozen in place, not kissing back, even placing my hands off his shoulders so I wasn't touching him at all during this intimate moment I had honestly desired since the first movie night I could remember. 

God, I would have broken the butterfly effect rule for this if the butterfly effect wasn't the topic of several dystopian novels and movies.

Anxiety eventually stepped back, looking at me sadly before nodding to himself. "I have some thinking to do... Sorry..." And after mumbling that he disappeared completely. I still felt flushed, I couldn't speak, and even if I could Anxiety disappeared too quickly for me to say something. And it's not like I could walk into his room to talk to him - his room in the had since been locked with thick tape around it - but he wasn't even there.

The warmth of his soft lips still lingered on my bottom lip, making me hold my lip to feel Virgil's company while I sat down on my desk again. I suddenly understood what touch starved felt like after that moment, I stared at my bed wishing Anxiety and I could sit there and cuddle until time ended.


	17. Memory 4 - Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finishes his memories, and enjoys seeing what he used to be like.

Memory Uploading...

It took what I would suppose to be a few months for Virgil to appear in my memories again. I would assume it was only a few months anyway, there were no important birthdays to organise but a lot of revision and work I needed to do for Thomas' end of college exams while the sun got brighter and the weather outside warmer. How Anxiety eventually came to me was not something I quite expected though.

I walked into my room, reading a book as I always was, before I heard quiet cries. Sometimes Morality or Red Creativity would cry over spilt milk (literally) in a room they believed to be empty so they wouldn't be disturbed. But after a short scan of the room, I saw no-one - and I hadn't told either of them about the hide-out behind my bookshelf. It wasn't until I pulled the bookshelf back I spotted the crying, shaking ball in the corner - Anxiety.

"Leave..." I heard the small whine as Anxiety backed himself more against the wall. He shakily put on his headphones as I sat opposite, but turned on his phone to realise it had too low a battery. I took a breath before getting my phone charger out from my bedside chest of drawers and plugging it into the wall beside him. Anxiety took the charger but not before giving me a death glare. "You're such a c^cktease Logic. I hate you." 

I could only sigh at that. I loved him, I did. I wanted to kiss him, but alas this was still a memory I needed to let play out. "You were all red and looking at me and I thought you wanted it but you just embarrassed me!" Anxiety shouted as he started crying again. I shuffled up to him and gave him a large hug, and surprisingly he didn't pull away but instead leant in so the side of his head lay on my chest. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me..." I stroked Anxiety's hair and watched him smile. He then looked up at me thinking for a moment - I wanted him to kiss me and memory me to actually do something about it. But he didn't kiss me, instead, he spoke.

"You know Thomas does that... Vine?" He whispered. "Can I maybe be in a few of those clips?"

"Well..." I thought for a moment, staring at the wall. "It would be very difficult to get that past Morality, as Red Creativity is in charge of all that kind of thing. You would have to live in the house again." Anxiety mumbled sadly, getting comfier by lying his head on my lap. "But I'm sure we could try." Anxiety's eyes started to glow and his smile became wide. I missed him so much. He then stood and held out a hand to help me up.

"Let's reintroduce myself then - best friend."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Memory Uploading...

It did take a few weeks for Morality to get used to having Anxiety around again. But eventually Morality did warm up to him, realising he wasn't being treated right by the Dark Sides and him being with the Dark Sides wasn't helpful for Thomas. Morality then became the cheery paternal figure he was before, adopting Anxiety as his figurative son and making him feel comfortable even while Red Creativity was insulting him - obviously upset about how Anxiety was quickly welcomed back but the 'completely innocent' Green Creativity was still trapped wherever the Dark Sides had settled.

But soon weeks of memories turned into months of memories, and months of memories became years. And soon it was the glorious year of 2020, or the present day. Well - it was as close to present day as these memories would go due to my amnesia. It was the first memory in which I relived the entire day, from menial tasks like chosing which book to read to bigger events like Thomas visiting that day.

It soon became evening. The environment had started to calm and we all sat watching a movie. I believe it was Gnomeo and Juliet, or some variant of an overly cheery meant-to-be-tragedy done in a way suitable and enjoyable for 4 year olds. Roman and Patton sat on beanbags - one red and one light blue - I sat on the sofa with my legs crossed and Virgil was perched above me in what only he could consider a comfortable position. My eyes started to droop around 10pm, only about a third way through the movie, but I closed the book I was reading. "I should... go up to bed." I yawned, the others turned to me and gave me a polite smirk.

"You can never watch a full movie can you Lo?" Roman sighed, but let me leave anyway. I walked up the stairs slowly and got changed before getting into bed.

I lay down on my side and covered myself with my blanket. There must have been a window open somewhere or something, as it was slowly getting gradually colder. But I couldn't do anything about it, or didn't want to as sleep dust lined my eyes and crawled on my eyelashes. I was disturbed though by Patton's voice.

"I got you some tea Logie-Bear - sleep well." Patton's chirpy voice echoed. Weirdly though I couldn't hear any footsteps as Patton must have walked in and out, but I just dismissed it as my hearing entering the world of dreams before my other senses.

As I went to sleep I smelt a delightful citrus smell - maybe from the tea. It made me smile slightly as the world faded to complete black and silence. I don't know if I dreamed that night but I knew that my slideshow of memories had finally come to an end.


	18. It All Makes Sense...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan returns to the modern time, only to find his assumptions of his last day weren't correct.

When I finally woke, I saw piles of food in front of me - Roman's favourite pasta, Patton's special cookies, Virgil's home-made hot chocolate with extra caffeine, and some snake food from Janus. The sun was still shining bright, and I had since been moved from Patton's bed where the memories started to be uploaded to the living room sofa like my previous fainting spell. Once I began to move to reach the hot chocolate, I heard a soft gasp.

"Oh, Logie you're back!" Patton whispered, pulling the blanket above me past my shoulders. "We didn't know when you'd wake up, so we made you very comfortable and gave you lots of food."

"It's only been two hours," Virgil smirked, walking in with his arms crossed. I smiled a little bit seeing Virgil again; although confused how years of memories could easily become two hours.

"We were worried about you kiddo - We didn't know how you'd react."

Virgil sighed, positioning himself beside Patton as I sat up. "I suppose Pat's right - we'll worry about you for as long as you live." For a moment Virgil lay his eyes on my free hand, making Patton smile wide and wink at me. Virgil immediately stopped. "Do you have a headache or anything Lo?"

I took a sip of hot chocolate and ate a cookie before answering. "I feel fine, maybe a little tired. But fine." Virgil moved beside me with a smile, letting me lay slightly on his side and relax.

There was a sudden noise upstairs that erupted downstairs along with laughter. Roman and Janus ran down the stairs; Janus chasing Roman waving his snake sceptre while Roman waved his sword. Both couldn't stop laughing and screaming how much they'd kill each other. It was like two children play-fighting - apart from they might actually harm each other whether accidental or purposeful.

Roman eventually looked over and realised I was awake - although I still leant heavily on Virgil's shoulder. "Logan!" Roman giggled, his voice still like a hyper, excited child. "Are you alright? Oh!" Roman sat the other side of me with an excited gasp. "What do you last remember?"

I only shrugged for a few seconds, processing my thoughts and enjoying the hot chocolate and the warmth from Virgil's arm slowly going around my shoulders. "Normal... We watched a movie... I left early... I went to bed... Patton gave me tea as I began to fall asleep and there was this amazing citrus smell." Virgil held me tighter as I got more comfortable in Virgil's embrace, starting to smile even though everyone's face around me dropped.

"I fell asleep on the sofa that night..." Patton spoke softly, giving me another cookie to keep me awake along with some Crofter's jelly to keep me happy. "Roman woke me slightly when he carried me to my room for me at almost 4am... And you went to sleep at 10." Patton looked to Roman to see if he got his facts right, Roman nodded slightly confused.

"Did you see Patton?" Janus finally piped up to ask, checking my temperature and vision as he asked the question. I only had the strength to shake my head, the caffeine doing nothing against my tiredness. Janus checked my ears while keeping my eyes open as best as he could. "Did you hear him?" I nodded, yawning while Janus checked my breathing. He sure was a good doctor.

"So I was imitated?" Patton squeaked slightly, looking at Janus and then Roman. Virgil brought me closer to his chest as Roman glared at Janus, holding his sword and raising an eyebrow. "Who - else - can imitate one of us?"

Janus obviously seemed nervous, holding his sceptre behind his back in case he actually had to use it. "It's not a far stretch to say all of us can to some extent - You have imitated Thomas' friends before. As for the smell - it could just be a hyper-fixation. Remus never reported a smell when I used the amnesia with him - I didn't ask him of course."

"So - I suppose there's only one way we could check..." Virgil whispered slightly, stroking my hair as I yawned again. It's weird how he never questioned my leaning in - while I was sleepy, I did decide to lean especially on Virgil because part of me wanted to make a move. He did kiss me after all, there must be something there. Unless I was just sleepy and stupid - highly possible. "Are we going to visit Remus?"

Roman perked up slightly hearing his brother's name. Janus and Patton looked at each other and simultaneously nodded. "Yes, we are."

Patton smirked sitting closer to watch my eyes go heavy and sleep overtake me again. "Aww - such a platonic cutie." The last sensation I could feel was him squeezing my cheek. "We'll visit Remus tomorrow - Let Logie get his energy back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But yeah, notice how the chapters after the memories will be properly named rather than just telling the time - since Logan actually knows what and why things are happening more than before when he was just learning about everyone day by day. I used my noggin and I'm proud of it.


	19. Seeing Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finally asks about Virgil and his kiss, and also meets modern-day Remus and seeing where the Dark Sides used to live.

Eventually, I finally woke up again, wrapped in a black and purple blanket and placed on my bed. Virgil stood at my open door looking out into the hallway in thought - I suppose he put me there. It was remarkably peaceful watching him; the first time I could hear complete silence during the day, and he stood with one arm over his chest and the other ruffling his hair. The stance complemented his sharp features, and his features sure were beautiful.

"You're awake!" Virgil said excitedly, walking over as I sat up and sitting at the end of the bed. He giggled softly, his soft lips becoming a smirk - and I definitely wanted to kiss him. "Feeling more awake sleepy-head? We need to head to the Dark House to visit Remus."

"I have questions..." My voice managed to mutter, saying each word slowly and carefully as if it were difficult to speak. "About my memory. Just - I don't quite understand something." Virgil nodded, giving me a soft look like a parent comforting their upset child. He sat next to me also carefully while I sat in a ball covered by the blanket he gave me. This could ruin everything our friendship was - in all my memories Virgil and I had never talked about the past. "Why did you kiss me?"

Virgil looked away sharply, staring at his fingers. He bit his lip and also sat in a ball, not daring to look at me for even a second. "That was years ago Lo." Virgil said quickly. "Why are you asking me this now?" He then turned to me, glaring at me with anger. I sighed and shuffled away slightly, about to speak before I was interrupted. "I mean we were barely 21! We were young and naive and stupid and there's no way those feelings I had for you at 21 are still present now!" When I finally turned to Virgil again I could spot his blushing red cheeks while he was distracted by the ramblings similar to what caused us to kiss in the first place.

"Remember your promise to me?" I spoke gently, shuffling closer again while Virgil paused like a broken record - only small and jolty movements. "You'll help me remember - if it's the last thing you'd do. And part of 'remembering' my memories is comprehending the information within them. I need you to be the most honest you could possibly be to help me understand that life-changing event."

Virgil nodded and took a deep breath, only smiling slightly but it was still a smile. "Of course, damn you and your smarts..." Virgil leaned on my shoulder as he usually does, our legs touched as usual, but it was absolute silence. I could tell Virgil was formulating his thoughts, breathing slowly simultaneous with my breaths making the entirety of time slow down.

"LOOOOOVEBIRDS!" Roman ran into my room chaotically, waving his sword around with one hand and holding up an old green and red shield with the other hand. "Patton let me bring the old Creativity shield to show Remus! He used to love this old thing - Oh I can't wait to finally see my brother again!" Roman ran out again, laughter erupting through the halls. Virgil stood and walked to the door quickly, looking down until he was at the door, which then he looked at me.

"We'll... Talk about it later, please?" I nodded and he smiled wider. I stood and walked up to him, and nervousness made his cheeks pink again. "Thanks Sherlock... You're a good friend." The last bit he said a little quieter and rubbed my hand as a form of contact. This was what made my face finally pink, but we ignored it and walked downstairs to go visit Remus.

—————————————

After walking for about an hour Janus could reveal where he, Remus, and Virgil for some years, had hidden themselves. Thomas didn't know that the Sides technically owned two houses, and both houses linked to his mind space so the Dark Sides could remain hidden for the years and years they were. The house was similar to the Light Side house in layout; it was a lot more dark and Gothic though. When we entered the living room we realised they didn't own many of the luxuries we did; they had no TV, there was no swimming pool you could see through the windows like in our house - there wasn't even a sofa, just two black fold-up chairs with a third folded and used as a clothes rack. Virgil seemed to stare at each object a few minutes longer than the rest of us, fear obviously taking over his face. I don't know what he was remembering, but it definitely wasn't any good memories. I held his hand to try and support him, but he quickly removed it and glared at me in anger. "Are you alright Verge?" I whispered. He nodded his head quickly.

"I'm fine."

During this fear spell that had overcome Virgil, and that I was trying to reduce, Remus had appeared hidden in the kitchen. Everyone was too distracted to see him, asking about the house or what Remus had become since they had only seen him when he was first created and then when Thomas met him.

"SURPRISE MOTHERF^CKER!" Remus finally screamed as he ran in, a green and silver sword in hand matching Roman's red and gold one. Roman immediately understood this chaotic energy with his telepathic twin powers and drew his sword to fight his brother. They chased each other around the living room while Janus sighed loudly and laid his hand on his temple.

"I suppose this is why we didn't have regular reunions." Patton joked, smiling wide at Janus who even stifled a small laugh. Patton made white fold-up chairs appear and set them beside the black ones. Virgil noticed this and got the black chair that hadn't been touched in years.

Patton made a white chair for himself, then me, then Roman, then turned his head as Virgil set his black chair down. As I sat another white chair appeared in Patton's hand; Virgil was struggling to open the chair after all its years of dormancy even with Janus' help. "Kiddo?" Patton chirped, giving Virgil the white chair. Virgil smiled wide at this small action, like a child on Christmas Day, and sat next to me. Janus' smile was a bit less happy, looking at his own black chair then back at Patton before going to sit down. "Wait a sec Jan." Patton said in his same chirpy voice, walking up to the chair Janus was about to sit on and turning it light grey.

Janus opened his mouth slightly at this small act of silence, glancing at Patton for reassurance. Patton nodded. "All yours buddy. You're becoming one of us again." Janus then mirrored Virgil's Christmas Day smile, making Patton hug him. Janus was surprised at the contact but hugged back until Remus and Roman finally sat down.

"So - what questions do you need to ask me?" Remus giggled, bobbing side to side - an action I knew as vibing. Roman laughed and bobbed along, two twin brothers vibing in unison as all of us finally sat together in perfect harmony (ignoring the possible romantic tension between Virgil and me of course).


	20. Citrus Smell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long - there was a lot of uni things to get through like accommodation and grades to enrol.  
> Hopefully I'd be more regular from now on.
> 
> \----------------------------------
> 
> The Sides visit Remus and find out that the last time Remus was meant to go under his amnesia experience it didn't work. They begin to get suspicious and scared of each other wondering who caused Logan's amnesia.

"Remus - What happens when I put the amnesia on you?" Janus spoke seriously, crossing one leg over his knee and making a cup of tea appear as he couldn't bother to get up and make one himself. Remus and Roman were too distracted to listen at first with their bobbing, giggling to each other while waving their matching swords. "Remus?" Janus eventually had to say louder, a deep growl in his voice

"How would I remember if it's an amnesia thing?" Remus stopped bobbing and tilted his head. Janus was about to correct himself before Remus began screaming. "YOU KNOW WHAT SOUNDS LIKE AMNESIA? ANA-"

"This is serious Remus!" Janus screamed back, his face reddening as he leant forwards with his powerful shout. "After your amnesia, I always upload your memories into you again via Patton's memory box. What is that experience like for you?"

Remus paused, and there was finally silence. "It's... citrus."

Everyone obviously spotting my face lightening up at that. I smiled and watched Remus intensely while he tried to remember more. "You usually give it as a drink don't you? It didn't work last time..."

"What do you mean it didn't work last time?" Janus and I echoed each other.

Remus only shrugged. "Last week Janus threatened to use the amnesia on me to stop my chaotic vibing, went into the kitchen to make the tea, once he finished he told me it was on the table but it wasn't there when I looked."

"So the citrus smell didn't affect you?" Janus mumbled as Remus nodded. "But why did you pass out?"

"I hit myself with my mace!" Remus said, proudly and with an excited gleam. Janus could only tilt his head and emit surprised snake noises while I heard Virgil next to me quietly giggle. It was the first time I saw Virgil smile in his old house, enjoying the chaos of his old roommates. When I turned my head to see Virgil his face immediately dropped and he leant closer to me. He definitely wasn't one to show emotion.

"Didn't you say something about a tea Logie?" Patton eventually mumbled. Janus' face immediately glowed in realisation, he stared at me in disbelief. "Did you drink it?" I shook my head with a confused glance. Janus looked even more shocked, staring at Patton before speaking slowly.

"One of us stole the tea - and made it more effective... Who?"

\----

At first the discussion after that question was quiet. Roman and Remus exchanged stories and gifts sitting on a fuzzy black carpet like two children; Patton and Janus were arguing, albeit quietly but it was still obvious they had conflicting ideas on how to find out which person stole and gave me the tea. Remus could always be lying about the tea 'disappearing' when Janus left and instead gave it to me; Roman and I always butted heads so it could have been some bad prank in his mind; Patton could be lying about sleeping and used the amnesia to get with me - as he knew the effect; Janus could give me the tea as it helped him live with the Light Sides again; and Virgil...

I knew I relied too much on Virgil. Even with my memory back in order I preferred to stay close to him, as if a voice inside was telling me he knew the answer to every single question I could think of. Maybe he did know more than he was letting on. Maybe he was pretending to be all nervous and scared and protective over me just as a show, maybe this was all planned. He could have realised that I held the 'power' before the amnesia, I spoke strongly and determined everytime I opened my mouth, I wasn't scared of confrontation if I was correct - even the way I stood showed confidence with my perfect posture. The amnesia made that all flip. He held the power over me as I realised our friendship from a more third person view, and I became more scared about losing him. Could he have given me the tea so he could have a chance of breaking down my walls and seeing my imperfections?

"Why are you staring?" Virgil's voice erupted in my ear again as he held my shoulders staring at me concerned. "Are you OK? Still tired or something?" I only could quietly nod, damn acquiescence bias making me constantly agree with whatever face was in front of me.

Virgil stood quickly, packing away his fold-up chair and speaking. "Logan's tired, I'll head home with him." Janus quickly turned his head, his cape doing a similar sway to face my and Virgil's direction. 

"I thought we came to sort this out Virgil." Janus snapped, his 's' enunciated like the hissing snake half of him was. "I know your memories here aren't the best but if you escape it just makes you look more suspicious." 

It was silence again without Patton and Janus' arguing in the background. Virgil didn't respond to cause another argument, only glared and sat down next to me again. He could sense I was about to say something and butted in. "Yes I hate it here. No, you're not knowing why."

"Well... I think it is time for all of us to head back..." Patton piped up, walking towards us and shooting a chirpy smile at Virgil. Patton hated arguments, unless he was in that argument specifically against Janus and only then did he show determination to win it. Everyone nodded in silence and stood, packing away and saying our last goodbyes to Remus.

"Don't you want to stay for dinner? I captured a chicken to eat..." Remus still sat on the floor, staring at us with adorable yet slightly demented puppy-dog eyes. A faint chicken was heard in the background probably coming from the kitchen. 

"I think we'll skip Re. Thanks though!" Patton chirped, letting us all escape through the door and go home to let Remus kill the chicken alone.


	21. Finding Truth (Last Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has finally come for Logan to find out Virgil's true feelings about him - whether they're platonic or if he's desiring something more just as Logan is.

No-one talked on the way back home. Suspicions were high. Janus seemed enveloped in thought - not noticing anyone if they tried to walk beside him or even if Patton tried smiling at him. 

Virgil and I lingered behind everyone else walking home, walking side by side and mirrored enjoying the silence. I kept my eyes to myself, watching my feet hit the stone pavement we were walking on or admiring the trees beside us decorated in scurrying squirrels and chirping birds. Virgil showed the inverse, he was the one staring at everyone while slowly rubbing his hands together - a nervous tick. Every so often he's meet eyes with the person he was staring at in that moment; and instead of doing what he usually dos of quickly looking away nervously as the staring was usually on accident, he instead kept the eye contact. He examined their movements while the person either got more confused or nervous. Once the reaction was evident enough Virgil would move his stare to someone else and repeat, returning to the person he just scared the life out of after a couple of minutes.

The swiping of Virgil's hands got quicker the more he stared, his nervousness overtaking his thoughts completely. I sighed and elbowed Virgil's arm, causing him to look at me and his stare became less angry and more scared in an instant. I gave him a reassuring look and talked slowly, letting his breathe slowly and calm himself down. "What's wrong Virgil?"

"Who did that to you Lo?" Virgil mumbled. "Who would purposefully make you forget all of us? It seems like torture!"

"Maybe someone who wanted to get with Logan..." Janus finally whispered, walking slightly slower to linger behind Roman and Patton and interrupt our conversation. Virgil became red and hissed at Janus, making my expression more confused. "Oh how suspicious..." Janus giggled at Virgil's tomato face, apart from his tone seemed more serious than his usual annoying sarcastic jokes. I could sense anger filling up in Virgil's body, his mouth about to hiss and his fists clenching for a punch.

"Well, it's all sorted now." I laughed softly, rubbing Virgil's clenched knuckles as he finally released all the pressure. "I don't have the amnesia anymore - and if it were a threat I'm sure whoever did it would strike again. So just leave it." I said the last sentence a little more sternly, giving Janus a stern glare so he'd shut his mouth and walk away, as he did.

"Thanks Sherlock." Virgil whispered, a smile arriving again as his eyes kept on me. The rest of the way home the two of us were smiling and laughing - but I knew he was still a little nervous by his hand stroking his jeans as he walked. He promised me that once we got home he'd explain the kiss.

***

Virgil and I walked into my room pretty much as soon as we got home. He took a deep breath and sat on my bed, looking around for a moment. "Roman said Janus is moving into his new room tomorrow... I suppose it's my last night on this sleepover huh?" The nervous laugh, the rhetorical question, the change of subject. He was hoping I'd forgotten his promise.

I only nodded and looked at my drawers. Slowly I brought out a tie and did it up myself for the first time since my amnesia. I did it up a lot in my memories, so it didn't seem to make me choke anymore. Virgil looked defeated in the realisation that this small change made me truly who I was before. "Should I take the hoodie?" Virgil stared up at me from where he was sitting, sadness present in his voice even though he wouldn't dare show it. I managed to remedy that with a smirk as I sat next to him, keeping my hoodie on.

"Pff no - this sh^^ is comfy." I laughed, sitting against the pillows on my bed while Virgil stayed at the other end and leant against the wall rather than facing me. His smile appeared until the next sentence came out of my mouth. "Now about that kiss..."

His face dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. He stared at his hands crossed neatly over his lap, breathing slowly and keeping my room silence for a while. I didn't feel the need to rush any of this, I just wanted the truth. Whether he loved me in the past - or he still loves me - I wanted to know. The thought of him loving me filled me with adrenaline, in a good way. I brought my knees to my chest to stop me from giggling at the thought of Virgil returning the love.

"We were young..." Virgil finally spoke, not looking at me still but staring at the slight movements his hands made as he spoke. "It was the very beginning of the whole sexuality thing - and I saw you I suppose the same way Thomas saw that physics teacher..."

"As a soulmate?" I interrupted, shuffling closer to me as he finally looked at me with wide and confused eyes.

"I-I wouldn't put it that far..." Virgil stumbled, looking away quickly as I sat next to him. "I just - I can't describe it - It just felt like the 'right moment' to kiss you I guess... I felt so warm inside even looking at you and the whole world felt peaceful and I guess it was like - the vulnerability in that moment gave me the courage to step out my comfort zone. I mean I was already outside it anyway so..." Virgil started rambling again, tugging his hair and bringing a knee to his chest while his face got pinker and pinker. 

"Do you still feel that around me?" That question caused silence again. His breathing hitched and his eyes widened. God I was begging he would say yes at this point, it would kill me if he just viewed me as a friend after all of this. He was so godamn perfect. 

Eventually he faced me, having one last large breath. "Do you?" He whispered, my face erupting in red as a response making him smile the cheesiest cutest smile I have ever seen. That was a sufficient response as soon his cheeks matched mine. He slowly began leaning in - as did I - and our lips met. While our lips connected I leant back to lie down and Virgil didn't let go, my hands hugged his waist as we lay together - The kisses starting shy but then getting more passionate as our confidence increased and the realisation that we were actually kissing dawned on us. We soon had to separate due to a familiar but faint 'aww' at the door.

"Congrats Logie! And Virgie too - oh I'll go and get Roman here and then we can invite Thomas round and share the news!" Patton ran out excitedly, leaving freshly baked brownies on a tray on the floor as we sat up again laughing but still red.

"So um - shall we finish that conversation we were having at our movie night tonight?" I chuckled, albeit nervously now I knew the absolute truth - and it changed everything for the better. Virgil nodded enthusiastically, causing the brownies to appear in front of us so he didn't have to move away from next to me.

"It's a date... Boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of I am Logan Sanders!
> 
> The next book is going to be either I am Virgil Sanders, I am Patton Sanders or I am Roman Sanders - depending on which you want so please tell me in the comments!
> 
> Whichever is chosen I'll post a teaser on here (I don't know if I can do that on this work even after it's completed if not I'll just start the book and the first chapter will be the teaser) but I hope you stay for that!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. I am Virgil Sanders taster chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says the next book is 'I am Virgil Sanders'. The first chapter will probably be out before the 25th of September as that date is when my university starts so there might be a short gap after that date.
> 
> But after 'I am Virgil Sanders' will be 'I am Roman Sanders' then 'I am Patton Sanders' then 'I am Janus Sanders' and lastly 'I am Remus Sanders' (hopefully by then we will have plenty of Remus content). This chapter is Logan POV to fit into the rest of the chapters but the next book will be Virgil's point of view of this chapter.

"I'm sure I don't need to give Virgil flowers Roman - it's our 14th date not our first... And he doesn't like motions of grandeur either." Roman had disturbed my planning. I was going to take Virgil stargazing at the local observatory, taken notes of the directions and mistakenly let it fall out of my pocket last night when just Roman and I were sitting on the couch watching movies. That resulted in this moment - the morning I'd take Virgil on the date - and Roman stood in front of me shoving a bouquet of purple verbena flowers into my chest.

Roman scoffed while I grabbed the flowers. "It's called romance Logan - and you've seemed to have given up on it after only dating Virgil for a few weeks - I would hardly say you're showing him you love him."

"Fine, fine. I'll give it to him." I let a small smirks escape as Roman gasped and clapped making happy Roman noises with his mouth while pushing me out of my own room and towards the direction of Virgil's door.

It was still relatively early in the morning, around 10am, so Virgil hadn't woken yet. He wasn't exactly a morning person but he did enjoy being woken up when I kiss him on the cheek and give him breakfast in bed. I swear he sometimes waits with his eyes closed for me to walk into his room and spoil him with affection and crumpets. Just in case he was awake I knocked on his indie-band-poster-door. There was no answer so I walked in.

"Morning Stormcloud..." I whispered as I walked in. Virgil was still under the covers, even his face hidden as I only saw the silhouette. "Virgil?" I said again, opening the windows to let some light in. Virgil was unfortunately a heavy sleeper, and I knew I couldn't stay in his room for too long to wait until he woke up.

I sat on Virgil's bed gently where his legs left a gap. I stroked the lump in the shape of a head and smiled, but there was no effort from Virgil to uncover himself. I let a sigh escape me as I slowly moved the duvet to free my boyfriend's head. "Good morning sleepyhead - time to go down and get breakfast."

Virgil's eyes were wide open when I unveiled him. His head turned to face me, and it took a few minutes for him to register my presence. Usually he would smile within a second of waking up and return with some snarky remark and a laugh - today was just a simple smile and a yawn. "You ready to get up yet sleepyhead?"

"No."

That short answer will usually be sarcastic, and Virgil would laugh and stand up giving me a kiss on the cheek as he got out of bed. This time he stayed lying down and stared at me, looking me up and down before spotting the bouquet of flowers on my lap and giving me a look of confusion.

"Flowers?" He mumbled like a small puppy.

"Yes - Roman told me to give them to you so it would be a romantic awakening." I stood from the bed and kissed Virgil's forehead and cupped his cheek. I could feel my ears begin to ring so if that kiss didn't get Virgil up and ready I would have to carry him out. 

Virgil grabbed my arm so the hand couldn't leave his warm cheek. He looked up at me, his eyes expanded and his mouth slightly agape. He was definitely wide awake, golden sleep lined his eyes and he had managed to sit up but his face was paler than I'd ever seen it. I placed the purple flowers on Virgil's lap, he watched them with absolute adoration and stroked the petals with his free hand - but I couldn't get over how pale he looked when he looked at me.

"Are you sick Virgil?" I knelt beside Virgil to be eye level with him and he immediately met my eyes again. He let go of my arm, thinking a little before slowly nodding.

Father mode activated immediately - maybe this is why Thomas said I have Daddy energy. "Oh darling you should have said." I placed the flowers in a vase beside Virgil's bed and kissed his forehead again, making Virgil's smile wider and his face finally pinken with a blush. "Would you like anything? I can get you some paracetamol, or some green tea if you want a more natural remedy - or you can just stay in bed with your fluffy Edward Scissorhands blanket and my Netflix account?"

Virgil again didn't respond, just smiling at me with the most love I had seen since we first confessed our love to each other. "LOGAN!" A scream erupted outside the door from none other than Patton. "CAN I TOUCH YOUR CROFTER'S TO USE IT AS A CUPCAKE FILLING?" A small laugh escaped as I walked to the door and shouted down my answer.

"I better do it for you so you don't use too much!" I looked back to Virgil, still in bed and looking at me. "I'll just let you have a little nap sweetie - call me if you need something or come downstairs if you feel better." As I stepped out the door I felt my ears stop ringing and my vision correct itself a little, but my eyes were still on my unwell boyfriend. I grabbed the door handle and was about to shut the door before Virgil spoke.

"L-Logan?" Virgil almost whispered, slight confusion in his tone and face. I smiled at him and he spoke again. "Can you get someone to close the curtains - and maybe make me some hot chocolate?"

"Sure thing darling." I kept my voice quiet and smiled softly, shutting the door behind me and letting my boyfriend relax for the day. I did have to postpone that date to the observatory - but Virgil's health was more important than some stars.


End file.
